The Diary of Glynda Goodwitch
by Half-Blind Otaku
Summary: The personal musings and innermost thoughts of Glynda Goodwitch, from childhood onwards. Share in the joys, sorrows, and frustrations (but mostly frustrations) of our favorite stern disciplinarian as she laments the immaturity of her peers and and life's troubles. Full of cheap laughs and referential humor; absolutely not to be taken seriously.
1. Entry 1: Mr Diary

**Author's Note: Okay so this was just a brief little idea that I had while reading Little Sun Dragon-Chan's "Dear Fanfiction," so before we get underway, a quick shout out there; trust me, it's hilarious. This, however, is going to be somewhat different, not only in that I am focusing primarily on our favorite hot teacher, but also that, as the name implies, it will consist of Diary entries, roughly in chronological order, spanning from childhood onwards. I don't know, I thought it would be amusing. Please let me know what you think and if you'd like to see more; I'm open to suggestions for subjects of future entries. **

_Entry # 1: Age 12_

* * *

Greetings Mr. Diary,

I feel that I should inform you that this whole 'diary' business is a waste of my time and yours. I see no reason _at all_ that I should spend my time with a book containing no words! Indeed, you could be far more productively used to keep the notes of a scientist or some other person who could _actually use _you. I. Don't. Need you. No matter what Mom says. A 'constructive way to vent?' Ridiculous! I am _not _a _child!_

…That _stupid _Winchester jerk deserved it anyway…

And what's so 'constructive' about scribbling in a blank book that no one is ever going to look at, huh? It doesn't even make sense! I can hardly even call you a book really! Books are supposed to teach you things, aren't they? Or _at least _to tell stories… they're supposed to help you learn, or at least amuse! _You _can't even give me a headache when I try to read you after bedtime – you don't have any words! Except for these ones… Well, whatever… _books _have words _before _some stupid kid doodles pictures of you and Mr. Ozpin _kissing in a heart! _

…_Stupid Winchester…_

I do not need to vent. I AM FINE!

It's bad enough that Mom makes me wear those stupid Mary-Janes and won't let me experiment with my Dust in my room; what am I, _ten?_ And besides, it only exploded once… you can't even see the scorch-marks on the ceiling anymore… there wasn't even a crater…

I am _mature, intelligent, and polite! _It's not my fault that Mommy's too busy being stupid to notice how smart and sophisticated I am! I need to spend my time practice with my Dust or my semblance, not _scribbling down stuff that I ALREADY KNOW in a stupid, STUPID blank book that nobody's gonna look at but ME!_

It's a stupid waste of time.

Politely reminding you of your place,

Glynda


	2. Entry 2: Glasses

**Author's note: Hello again, those of you who may be interested, I'm back with another chapter of 'The Diary of Glynda Goodwitch.' I know that I said that this was supposed to update weekly, but I'm not going to hesitate to update more frequently than that if I have the ideas and the time to put them down. For now though, I hope you enjoy this somewhat longer entry, and feel free to share your thoughts and suggestions in reviews or PMs. Enjoy!**

_Entry # 2: Age 12_

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Before we begin, I want to repeat that this is a HUGE waste of time, no matter how much Mom says that 'sharing my thoughts' with you will help me feel better. First of all, Mom's stupid! _Doctors _are supposed to work in hospitals, not bug people about their '_feelings!' _Secondly, _you _are an _inanimate object! _How am I supposed to share my feelings with _you _anyway? Even if I wanted to. Which I don't. And _FINALLY, _I. Feel. FINE!

Whatever… It's not like I've got anything better to do… At least you won't _insist _that this whole stupid thing is for my own stupid good; you are just a stupid, _stupid _book, after all…

Still… If Mom wants me to talk about my feelings to something that wasn't gonna talk back, I wish she would've got me a kitty instead… At least those are fluffy… but I guess that's off topic…

'_It makes you special' _they said, _'it's nothing to be ashamed of,' _they said. Well. I am not_ 'special.__' _Don't think for a minute that I don't know what _that's _supposed tomeans! I. Am. BRILLIANT! Not _'SPECIAL!'_ Stupid eye doctor… what does _he _know? Thanks to that stupid, _stupid _jerk, now Mom's making me wear these stupid, _stupid _glasses, and it's all just so stupid, _stupid, STUPID, __STUPID!_

How was I supposed to know that it was an 'E' on the top of that chart anyway? It was like, _ten feet away!_

These stupid things are so uncomfortable too… and my hair got stuck in the joint yesterday!

…It really hurt…

I DID NOT cry though. Big girls don't cry. Ever. No matter how much they know that that Winchester jerk is going to make fun of you at school on Monday… Jerk…

Now that I think of it, you and these glasses are made for each other! I don't need these stupid glasses, and I don't need some stupid blank book! I can see just FINE! I don't need glasses, and I did not _miss _in Dust class on Thursday… I was _aiming _for Winchester, not the target. Styrofoam doesn't cry for 'Mommy.' Hmph. It was only his eyebrows anyway… he doesn't need those…

But I suppose that's not the point here. No, the point is that (I suppose I should congratulate you) you, Mr. Diary, are no longer the _most _useless thing in my life. Don't get too full of yourself though, you're still useless, just not _as _useless as-

Wait… Was there always a spider web there?


	3. Entry 3: Glitter Goodwitch

_Entry # 3: Age 12_

Hello again, Mr. Diary,

Since has now been made _totally _clear to me that I can't get rid or you _or _these _stupid _glasses (believe me, I've tried. Stupid Mom and her garbage-sorting), it looks like we're stuck with each other, so you might as well hear me out. Or read me out… Oh never mind!

_Anyway, _I've decided that I hate people.

If they're not mean, then they're stupid, and too many of them are both, _(I'm talking to YOU, Duke Winchester! I don't care if you're eight inches taller than me, Mr. Ozpin says I'm extra special and a Dust PRODIGY!) And… _Where was I?

Oh right… Hating people…all of them… Except Mr. Ozpin… He's nice… Everyone else though? Hate them. Always knocking over my pencil case or making fun of me for these stupid, _stupid _glasses – SINCE WHEN DOES HAVING GLASSES MEAN THAT YOU HAVE FOUR EYES? – or calling me 'Glitter Goodwitch'… _ONE TIME! IT WAS ONE TIME OKAY!_

That was Mom's fault too, by the way… I _told her _that I was too old to dress up as a fairy princess for Halloween since I was nine… And who wants to be a stupid _princess _anyway? If I have to dress up like _that, _then I wanna be _Queen!_

…Sorry about that… lost my train of thought…

Don't worry though; no matter how much I hate people, I will _always _hate you too. It really isn't a matter or not having enough dislike to go around at all, really; they're two entirely different kinds resortment- er… _resentment…_

_Stupid pens and ink… I hate you too…_

But anyway, I don't like _you _because you're a waste of time, like I've already said, but I suppose I can't really blame you for that… so I'll blame Mom instead. No, I don't like _people _because people are _stupid _and _mean _and _I don't NEED any friends, MOM!_ People are distracting. How am I supposed to be the best huntress _ever _if Emmy Valkyrie won't shut up so I can hear myself think! Yeah, _okay, _Emmy's kinda fun… maybe a little… But last time she tried to talk to me in class, _I _got in trouble! How is that fair! I never get in trouble! I am a good girl and a _model student! _Mr. Ozpin says so… Hmph!

Oh but I suppose you think this is _funny, don't you? _I see the way that you stare blankly back at me. Watching. Mocking. But the joke, Mr. Diary, is on you, because I am _smart, _and _you _are just a stupid blank book and no matter how much I write in you, you'll never get _any _smarter. Ha! Just about all you can do listen to me… Like Mom…

But less nagging.

Hmmm… now that I think of it though… Who needs people when I've got you? You're not going to hide my glasses when I show how much smarter I am than you, are you? No? Good. Perhaps 'hate' is a strong word for what I feel about you…

Congratulations Mr. Diary, you have now been promoted from thing I hate to thing I don't care about.

Sincerely,

Glynda

P.S. The glitter was always Mom's idea!

**Author's Note: Alright, there goes another one! I do hope that you enjoyed. For the next chapter, I'd like to take stock of your opinions in the reviews if I may; I'd like to know if you all would prefer to read her meeting Cinder next, or her first day at Signal? Both will get written either way, but if anyone has a preference, let me know by review or PM before noon tomorrow (May 8****th****) and whichever gets the most emphatic response will get written first (unless of course an equal number of people want both with equal enthusiasm want both, in which case… I'll flip a coin… I have a silver dollar around here somewhere…). At any rate, that's all for now, and do enjoy the rest of your day. **


	4. Entry 4: I'm Going to Signal!

**Author's Note: Alright, here's the fourth entry, and we have now officially moved up from pretentious pre-teen Goodwitch to full fledged angsty teenager Goodwitch. Yay! I think... You'll have to tell me if it's funny...**

_Entry # 4: Age 13_

* * *

Dear Mr. Diary,

I think I'm past the need for telling you how useless you are by now, so instead I'll move on to the subject at hand…

MY FIRST DAY AT SIGNAL ACADAMY OH MY GOD YES!

Hhem…

What I meant to say was that today I attended the opening ceremonies for the first years at Signal…. I did not spaz out. Not even a little. The important thing is that I have officially taken the first step towards being a huntress; four years at Signal, then I can apply to Beacon… It'll be fantastic! Unfortunately, I've got the feeling that the next four years are going to be stressful ones…

For starters, Duke Winchester is going too. Will I ever get rid of him? You know… I _could…. _No, no, a good Huntress doesn't 'get rid of' people… That's what Beowolves are for; I doubt he'd last ten minutes in the Emerald forest!

Even aside from Winchester though, I was seated next to Emmy Valkyrie (she's going too, by the way) during the headmaster's speech, and I couldn't hear half of it because she NEVER SHUT UP! And would you believe that she brought a _sloth _to the school? And I don't mean a stuffed animal, I mean and _ACTUAL SLOTH! _Who even _does that? _Even if it was fluffy and she let me pet it… We were _both _better off after Mr. Ozpin called her mom to come take it back home so we could concentrate. Not that it was cute or anything… It was totally, positively, absolutely _NOT _completely adorable! It's just a good thing Mr. Ozpin was our camp counselor at the summer prep camp… anther teacher might have made a scene when the sloth bit his fingers… Emmy says that it means he likes you…

_And then _there was that nerdy spaz who ran into me in the hall! And yes, I do mean that he _literally ran into me! _ He had stupid green hair that he _obviously _uses way too much gel in, and glasses that _clearly _need a stupid cleaning otherwise he wouldn't have run into me SRUPID! I was well within my rights to yell at him for being so reckless. And Mom thinks that I have anger issues. Hmph! ridiculous I wouldn't be so angry all the time if people weren't so stupid! If people would just watch where they were going, _Bartholomew Oobleck, _and shut their stupid ugly mouths, _Duke Winchester, _and maybe also lay of the sugar, _Emily Valkyrie, _Then maybe, _just MAYBE _the world would be a better place.

Oh, but I almost forgot! I did meet _one _new person that doesn't bug me. Yet. Give her time… Apparently she's enrolled for the same Dust and Semblance classes as me, what was her name…? Candy… no… It was something…. Something… Oh, come _on, _I know it! She told me! Not Candy… Cindy… closer but- Ah! Cinder! Cinder Fall! She seems really excited about going to Signal too. Her hair's really nice and she was wearing a _really _pretty red dress… _I _could never pull that off… I'm not pretty enough… And besides, red clashes with my eyes! Mom said so! Anyway, _Cinder _said that we should be _friends, _do you believe that? We're perfect strangers and she just comes up and asks to be friends! It's like she's Emmy or something… but less hyper… I wasn't really sure if I was comfortable with that though, so I went with a compromise since we're in most of the same classes: we're going to be study-buddies instead.

Well, I guess that's it for now. I'll be sure to tell you how my first real day of classes goes,

Glynda


	5. Entry 5: New Classes and New People

**Author's Note: These chapters doo seem to get longer each time, which is good - they could hardly get shorter, I know - but the expanding length is mostly a function of having a broader subject to discuss each time; my process for writing these is literally "pick a topic, then let bitty Goodwitch rant about it as long as the words keep coming,' and that's about it. For now though, do enjoy, and please leave your thoughts. **

_Entry # 5: Age 13_

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Dear Mr. Diary,

So today was my first day of classes at Signal. I had History, Math, Weapons Engineering, Applied Dust Theory, _and _Semblance 101. All in all, I guess it went okay… kinda underwhelming though, I mean, most of the other students are just screwing around! Can you believe that? We're at _combat school _and people are throwing paper airplanes and listening to music while the teachers are talking! It's like most of them were raised by Beowolves! I, for one, am going to Signal so that I can _learn _to be a huntress!

We studied the Faunus War in History today, not much else to write about really – Except one thing: Remember that Oobleck kid? He knows like, _everything, _it's crazy… Every time the teacher speaks he raises his hand before the teacher's half done his question. _And he still gets them right! _How am I supposed to show people how smart I am if he always raises his hand so fast?

I know what you're thinking by the way, and shut up. I am NOT pouting.

Mat class was fun though – not the math itself (Ugh…) but because Duke Winchester got called on and he didn't know the answer. I swear the big oaf can't tell the difference between a square and an isosceles triangle. Stupid. An isosceles triangle has _two _equal sides, not four! Which I happily told the teacher when I was called upon. Humph! Serves him right, making a fool of himself…

Then in Weapons Engineering I was seated next to Emmy Valkyrie again… she says that she wants to build a _Railgun… _Talk about overdoing it… I'd think a grenade launcher would suffice… Oh, and I met a few more new people in weapons engineering too! They were a brother and sister I think… Summer and Qrow Rose (Summer's the girl, by the way, Qrow would be a weird name for a – well okay, it's just a weird name, but it would be even _weirder_ for a girl's name. And aren't you supposed to put a 'u' after 'Q's? … _I think their parents might be hipsters…) _but anyway, _Qrow _wants a _Scythe AND a gun! _Good luck carrying it all, that's what I say, but Summer hasn't decided yet, so we're kinda in the same boat… I'm not sure what I want to do for my weapon yet either… I'm really good with Dust but… I don't think my fairy princess wand is gonna cut it…

It's a good point of focus! DON'T JUDGE ME!

Moving right along…

So I met up with Cinder again in Applied Dust Theory after that, as well as made another new friend, believe it or not… Maybe this 'dealing with other people' thing isn't as bad as I thought… But anyway, I _think _we're friends… She's really, _really, painfully _shy… (And I am _NOT shy, _for your information, I am politely _reserved!_). She's got short blonde hair and purple eyes, plus she's kinda scrawny… I think a stiff breeze might blow her over… Her name is Yin Xiao Long though, and she's really nice. She said that she focuses on Dust because the closest thing she's ever held to a weapon was a fly-swatter, and she only reason she hit the rapier wasp the one time she told us about was because it landed on her face… No comment…

The three of us had a decent conversation about our favorite kinds of Dust though. Cinder likes fire; - makes sense, right? But she says that it's because it's hot like she is… I _think _that was a joke, but I'm not sure… For my favorite, well, I couldn't decide between ice and lightning yet, but I'll have to decide soon, because the teacher says that we need to study whichever type we choose to start with thoroughly… Yin went with water though; something about it being 'nice and refreshing'… I didn't ask, but I'm not _totally _sure that she knows this is a _combat school… _

It was just Me and Cinder (plus some other people that I don't know) in Semblance 101 though, and since this was our first day, we spent it testing everybody to find out what their semblance _actually was. _I have glyphs, but of course I already knew that (Sometimes I concentrate really hard and to cast one on my bedroom ceiling as a nightlight, but don't tell Mom) and apparently if I practice really hard I can do all sorts of fun physicsy stuff with them. As for Cinder well… she can blow stuff up with her mind… That's her goal at least; today she just set the teacher's eyebrows on fire…

Well, that's all for now I guess, I'll be sure to share more tomorrow,

Glynda


	6. Entry 6: Burritos

**Author's Note: Alright, before we begin, I'd like to give major props to ElfCollaborator for letting me reference 'Weiss Reacts' for this fic. I promise to use the privilege responsibly. Anyway, here's another entry for your amusement, do enjoy, and please let me know what you think. **

_Entry # 6: Age 13_

* * *

Dear Mr. Diary,

I forgot to bring my lunch today…

It's been a lousy day overall actually; first, I overslept, _then _I couldn't find my stupid glasses so I had to squint all day to see my notes, and _THEN _a freaking _SEAGULL _came down out of nowhere while I was walking to school and took my favorite scrunchy right out of my hair! I mean, what the heck? What does a seagull want with a scrunchy anyway? Plus it really hurt… Of course my hair was a mess all day too, thanks to that stupid flying _RAT. _And to top it all off? I forgot my lunch; I'd have bought lunch in the cafeteria, but all they were serving today was green pepper stir-fry.

I hate green peppers…

All I had for breakfast was a little bowl of Pumpkin Pete's marshmallow flakes. I _suppose _that I could have had more, but those things aren't very good for you, and a Huntress must keep in good shape… Plus, I've seen what too many bowls of that stuff does to you… If only Auntie when to lay off… I don't think that I'll ever look at a two-piece the same way ever again… Ugh…

Anyway, the point is that I was hungry all day, and getting to our lunch table certainly didn't help. Let's see… I know Bartholomew brought a can of coffee (honestly caffeine is the last thing _that guy _needs) but I couldn't tell what he brought to eat because it was gone before I got a good look at it, Yin brought a salad from home, and Emmy brought and ostrich burger… Is that even a _thing? _Do people really _eat _ostriches? Whether Emmy was telling the truth or not though, the thing was _HUGE! I _could have lived on that thing for a week! Not Emmy though… Maybe it's 'cause she's more athletic than me but seriously, that thing was gone almost as fast as Oobleck's… well… whatever Oobleck had… It's like our whole lunch table was mocking me! At least Yin asked if I wanted to share her salad, but I said no… She really didn't have much, and that girl really needs to eat more so she can put on some muscle... I mean, I'm not exactly uber strong either, and I'm not saying she needs to by as ridiculously strong as Emmy (I swear I've seen that girl lift pieces of furniture looking for stuff) but I don't think Yin Xiao Long could win a fistfight with a teddy bear…

I suppose it wasn't all bad though; Cinder got to our table last because she needed to use the microwave, but when she got to the table, she let me have a burrito. Wouldn't have been my first choice, but beggars can't be choosers, right? And either way, it was surprisingly good… Not that I'm complaining of course, but she had like, _seven _of them anyway… It was weird… Not as weird as what happened next though: she just watched me eat it.. The whole thing. I don't think that she blinked even once. It was kinda creepy actually, now that I think about it, but I've decided to let it slide; we're like, best friends now anyway (I _refuse _to use the term 'BFF' by the way, _Emmy, _it's so childish_!_). _Anyway, _I thanked her for the burrito and said that it was really good, but then she blushed… I _think _she said that she made them herself, but she kinda whispered it under her breath, so I'm not sure. Whatever she said, she seemed embarrassed… I can't imagine why though; she's usually so confident… and cooking is a great skill to have,

Maybe she's got a crush or something. I wonder who the lucky guy is… It would certainly explain all the extra burritos…

Then again, when I looked back her way after spending five minutes talking to Emmy about whether Sloths or penguins were cuter (sloths are fine, but there's really no comparison) all of the other burritos were gone… Weird…

Well, I suppose that's all for now though; until next time then,

Glynda


	7. Entry 7: Mad Ms Faust

_Entry # 7: Age 13_

* * *

Dear Mr. Diary,

So I had Grimm anatomy today… Yeah… it was gross…

The Professor – Ms. Faust – said that the best way to learn about Grimm anatomy was through first-hand experience, but since it's 'unethical' to throw students into confined spaces with live Beowolves, dissection would have to do… Also, she told us to call her 'Gretchen' because, and I quote "I am not bothered by vivisecting Grimms I've given pet names, so being on a first-name basis with my innocent, _impressionable _students should be just fine…" End quote.

I think Ms. Faust might be a sociopath…

Anyway, that wasn't the gross part I was talking about though. Oh no, we had _lab time _today… That's right, on the _first _day of the class! No instructions, no _teaching, _just get behind the lab tables and _boom! _Fortunately, I do have a friend in that class; Yin and I got partnered up, although to be honest… yin wasn't much more than moral support… She's really squeamish, not that I blame her in _this particular case… _

You know what _'Gretchen's' _idea of a dissection lab is? She handed out gloves and scalpels, then brought in a cage full of _Beowolf puppies! LIVE ONES! _I don't even want to know how she got them, but _that's _not even the worst part either! No… the _worst part _was when took one out of the cage, held it down on the lab table in front of me, and _chopped off its head with a MEAT CLEAVER! _Maybe I could have gotten past that, but all the while she was making small talk with like the creepiest smile ever on her face! How am I supposed to react to that!? Especially when the psycho's holding a meat clever!

Yin fainted…

I suppose that after _that display, _nothing really should've surprised me, but her only instructions after that were to, and again I quote, "Start pokin' around," End quote… I mean, 'pokin' around?' Firstly, that is a positively _shameful _abuse of the English language, secondly, _poking? _As in just _stab it _a bunch of times and _see what happens? _Thirdly, OH MY DUST WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU WOMAN!?

Ehem… I left one of Mom's business cards on Ms. Faust's desk… you know… in case she realizes that she needs help…

Even so, it was a long class… or at least it felt that way…. Hard to concentrate on the clock when you busy holding your breath and prodding at the twitching body of a dead Beowolf puppy… And it was kina cute too – well, it was cute _before _it was viciously decapitated…

And to top all _that _unpleasantness off? Well, since Yin _fainted _when the teacher er… _prepared _our specimen, we got a bad grade because she couldn't participate in the dissection! I tried to explain how that wasn't fair to Ms. Faust, but she said that the grade wasn't because Yin fainted, but because Yin spent the brief amount of class _before that _hiding behind me when the box of Beowolves was brought in! Are you kidding? _I wanted to hide behind me! _

Dust knows hiding behind Yin wouldn't do much good…

By the time it was all over, I was about ready to show _'Gretchen' _where she could stick her scalpels, but being the polite young adult and Huntress-to-be that I am, I restrained myself, resolving to warn Cinder about that class later. Not Emmy though… something tells me she'd get a kick out of that…. She worries me too sometimes… Would've been nice to have Cinder in class with us, now that I think of it… maybe she could have lit the teacher's hair on fire or something to get us out of it…

Well, goodnight for now, Mr. Diary,

Glynda


	8. Entry 8: Prototypes

**Author's Note: And here, Ladies and Gents, is another entry in the Diary of Glynda Goodwitch! Now with more angst! It's funny angst though… I think so anyway... I hope it's funny… you be the judge. Anyways, I want to thank Krazyfanfiction1 for reviewing every chapter thus far (I really appreciate it), and would be similarly grateful to anyone else who so decides to leave an opinion or suggestion in the reviews… Pretty please? Bitte schön? **

_Entry # 8: Age 13_

* * *

Dear Mr. Diary,

Well, we did it…

Hmmm… perhaps some explanation is in order… Today was the due date for our prototype weapons in Weapons Engineering class, and we got it done! I can't tell you how much of a load that is off my back. Of course, when I say 'we' I mean my friends and acquaintances; you know, Cinder, Emmy, Yin, the Roses – the people I don't hate. And that Winchester moron? He actually had the _gall _to hand the teacher a wooden _club! _That takes a _special _kind of lazy stupidity, even for him, though I won't say it isn't fitting for that _barbarian!_

Of course, Yin and Cinder are in a different class period, so I didn't actually _see _theirs, but they told me that since both of them are focusing on Dust, Cinder made some jewelry with burn crystals – something about boosting potency, I think – and Yin decided to dabble in lightning Dust too, apparently, because she made gauntlets with some kind of built in Taser launcher…. _Apparently _it also functions as a grappling hook, but the way she described it to me, she wants to drench Grimms and electrocute them because she's too afraid to get close… I don't know why she wants to be a huntress, but I guess that's beside the point; honestly, I think the Taser's actually for all the stupid boys who keep asking her for a date... The creeps don't seem to get that her face is up _HERE!_ I feel sorry for her really…

And besides… I'm pretty too…

I know what you're thinking by the way, and shut up. I'm just a late bloomer is all. I _do not _have an 'external locus of self-esteem' or whatever Mom keeps saying I have. It's not my fault Yin and Cinder are like, uber pretty! You just wait, I'll be _GORGEOUS DAMMIT! _

Ehem… Don't tell Mom I said that, okay?

Where was I? Oh yes… weapons…

Well, _I _went with a wand (and no, _not _that stupid fairy princess wand – this one doesn't have a star on it!) fitted with a signal amplifier for my aura… or something… the teacher says it will give me better control over my Dust and Semblance. I dunno how the technology works though, but it does, and it was awesome… Gave Winchester an icy buzz cut at a hundred yards this time – _new record… _

Oughta teach him to call _me FLAT! _Stupid oaf wouldn't know sexy if it bit him…

Anyway, Emmy, our resident _slothist _(incidentally, I don't think that's an actual religion) _did _in fact make her Railgun, and I was right; it certainly was excessive… Took out half the east wing when she demonstrated it… The teacher gave her an 'A' for 'ingenuity' (I think he just didn't want to upset her at that point, and I guess I can't blame him; upsetting a girl with a fully functional Railgun and a few screws loose strikes me as only slightly less certain a method of suicide than submitting to acupuncture delivered by howitzer) but said that she had to make the final version of her weapon small enough to carry. Her prototype was bigger than she was, but moving right along…

Qrow Rose did actually make his scythe, and he put a gun in the shaft too. I think he's just trying to show off… Summer went with something _much more sensible _though; she made a Dust-firing bow that detaches into two swords. Much less cumbersome, I think. Her weapon, that is; I still think she's going to trip on that big white cloak that she always insists on wearing; seriously, she _never _takes it off!

These are all prototypes though, like I said, so we're going to spend the rest of the semester refining our designs to make them work better and ensure that they don't explode. I still don't know how Emmy's going to make that monster of hers portable though…

Until next time,

Glynda

_P.S. I am __NOT __flat-chested! _


	9. Entry 9: Studying and Pom-Poms

**Author's Note: So... this was supposed to be out three hours ago, but I accidentally deleted the whole thing...**

_Entry # 9: Age 13_

* * *

So… Finals…

I'm sorry I haven't written in a while… It's been a rough couple of weeks. Between the studying and weirdness and the tests and the stress and the Mom's lectures about 'doing your best' I just… GAH! I'm just a little burnt out I guess…

The studying started out normal enough, I suppose. I invited Cinder, Emmy, and Yin to my house so we could help each other study – that's a normal friend thing, _right? _– and we got started right away on math. Well… I _say 'we' but_ really it was more like Cinder, Yin, and I studied and Emmy never shut up. We didn't actually get anything done until we'd managed to persuade Emmy to leave the subject of her pet Sloth's ambitions for world domination for another day, albeit only achieving this with a pile of novelty plushies. After Emmy calmed down though, the rest of us could actually get to studying.

Fortunately, Yin is really good at math, so we started there. Unfortunately, getting her to actually _teach _was very difficult. She always spoke so quietly that we could barely make out what she was saying, and when we asked her to speak up, she said that she didn't like to show off… When we _did _finally get her to explain problems, she always did it while staring down at the desk, like she was trying to hide behind her bangs or something. I mean, she says we're her friends an all, but whenever we hang out, I can't help but feel like she's afraid we're going to attack her or something – she's just too shy! She spent every study session being fidgety whispering like she was embarrassed to be smart or something! And as if that wasn't enough trouble for one study session, Cinder got a nosebleed!

Incidentally, I have asked Mom for a humidifier since… I had no idea the air in my room was that dry…

Anyway, I managed to convince Bartholomew Oobleck to help us study for history. I was actually kind of surprised by how eager he was to do it, actually; I didn't even get past 'Cinder Emmy, Yin, and I are having a study session at my house,' before he agreed. I don't think any of us were friends with him… huh… whatever. The point is, the guy knows like, _everything _about history, so he was a big help, though we did seem to have the opposite problem with him to what we had with Yin for math; He spoke really, _really _fast, so much that it was hard to understand him too. He's a nice enough guy I suppose, if a bit of a geek… I don't think Cinder likes him though… I'm not quite sure, but I think she kicked him every time he tried to talk to me or Yin about something other than history…. I guess she was just really enthusiastic about remaining on subject.

I supposed that the situation for my Grimm Anatomy class was both better _and _worse. On the positive side, the lab we did last week was actually the last grade of the semester (although that relief didn't make it any easier to pick the Rapier Wasps out of Yin's hair), but on the negative side, _'Gretchen' _decided that we should have 'fun' during our last class of the semester. I don't know about you, but rock-paper-scissors-truth-or-dare twister _was most certainly not _my idea of fun. Firstly, how do you even combine all of those games? The rules didn't make any sense! And secondly, the whole thing was positively humiliating! I ended up with my _face _in Yin's _chest! And then we fell down! _

At least the landing was soft… for me… poor Yin… But seriously though, how much milk does a girl have to drink to – oh never mind.

My Semblance 101 final was better. All I had to do was show that I could lift and launch things – myself included – with my glyphs as well as block attacks and otherwise negate the laws of physic. Who needs those anyway? Yin would certainly be better off without them…

I am NOT bitter!

Anyway, the way Cinder looked when she did hers was, well… interesting… Her eyes lit up like a kid in a candy store when she incinerated all the testing dummies at once… Also, a roasted duck fell out of the sky… When the teacher said that she needed to demonstrate more precise control though, she burnt a mosquito that was about to land on my shoulder. She got an 'A' too, and though I do appreciate not getting bitten by the little pest, I _do _think that pyromancy is a slightly excessive solution to that particular crisis… I mean, it's not like it was a _spider _or anything… Ugh…

By far the _most _stressful of my finals though, was Applied Dust Theory, for which the only instructions, given a week in advance, were to, and I quote, "Uniquely demonstrate your mastery over Dust." I'm kind of ashamed to admit it, but Yin and I had no idea what to do for that, but after asking the teacher if we could do it in groups, Cinder came up with the plan that we eventually went with. I'm still not sure how I feel about the plan though, but not having a better alternative to offer ourselves, Yin and I went along with it: a choreographed cheer routine. I have to say though, even if I didn't personally care for the pom-poms and almost _indecently _shorts that Cinder came up with for the uniforms, I have to admire her determination; she must have been coming down with something, what with all the nosebleeds that she was having that week, but she stuck to it and we got an 'A' in that class too! Amazing how impressive a cheer routine looks when you work Dust manipulation into it, really… I still can't get that stupid song out of my head though. Seriously, who do people even sing _that high _anyway? Are they half-squirrel or something? Plus, I couldn't understand any of the lyrics because they were all in some other language… I _still _can't get that stupid song out of my head. I'm still not sure if I liked doing that or not actually; on the one hand, dancing around and kicking in a skirt that short and shirt that I'd _swear _was a size too small is hardly ladylike, but on the other… we _did _get an 'A'… If I were cynical I'd the teacher's a pervert… but I won't assume that.

A grade is a grade, after all.

Till next time,

Glynda

**Author's Note: Yay for referential humor! Oh, and cheerleading. Personally, I picture Glynda pouting her way through the routine thinking "it's for the grade, it's just for the grade," while determinately trying to look like she's not having fun, but that may just be me. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed, and please feel free to fav, follow, or leave a review (all three would be wonderful). More tsundere moe Goodwitch tomorrow, rest assured, but until then, have a good one. **


	10. Entry 10: Slumber Party!

**Author's Not: Okay, here it is: Entry 10. What I'm going for with these is to release one every weekday as long as I can keep that up, but three a week at a minimum… hopefully… Anyway, I hope that you enjoy this one, and please leave your opinion, fav, follow, etc. **

_Entry # 10: Age 14_

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Dear Mr. Diary,

So I had my first-ever SLUMBER PARTY!

Ehem…

What I meant to say was that, for my fourteenth birthday, Mom let me invite some friends over for the night…

Glynda Goodwitch does _NOT_ squee. 

As it turns out, I'm actually the oldest of any of my friends… sure, the biggest age difference is six months but still… I refused to accept that Yin Xiao Long is that much _younger than me! _I just don't get it!

Happy place… find a happy place…

Well anyway, I invited Cinder, Yin, Emmy… Oh, and Summer Rose too. I don't really know Summer that well, but apparently she's good friends with Yin, so I figured, 'why not?' Maybe it would make her more comfortable coming. I don't know why I don't talk to Summer more to be honest; she's really nice – I mean, she'd have to be for Yin to be comfortable around her – maybe it's because that big brother of hers is just so protective. It's not like Summer needs it; Summer's a perfectly capable huntress-in-training from what I can tell.

Anyway, the party was set to start at five, but Cinder showed up at four-thirty… she said that she was just really excited. Really loves slumber parties apparently. Emmy and Summer showed up at five, but we had to wait almost a half an hour for Yin… apparently she got lost… Still, everyone _did _show up, and it was nice to know that everyone _wanted _to come to my birthday…

So we had dinner we ordered pizzas – three of them in all, but Emmy ate most of it – and after that it was PJs and uh… games… I'm actually kind of embarrassed to admit this, but I've never actually had a slumber party before… or been invited to one… so I didn't exactly know what to do after dinner. Fortunately, everyone else had ideas. Emmy suggested 'pin the tail on the sloth… but I vetoed that when she insisted that _Yin _had to be the sloth… Summer suggested we play cards. Cinder… well she suggested either spin the bottle or twister, both of which Yin responded to by hiding behind me and Summer in a panic…

We went with Summer's idea…

So after a few rounds of Rich Man, Poor Man and Old Maid for a while, Emmy _insisted _that we do presents. Frankly, I seem to recall asking them not to bring me anything, but all of them seem to have ignored me. Let's see… Summer got me a cape… kinda like the one she wears, but black on the outside, and purple on the inside… I don't know why she thinks I'd wear something like _that, _but it's the thought that counts, right? Yin got me a really cute T-shirt, but unfortunately, she didn't know my size, so she went with hers… needless to say, it's a little… _loose… _in certain places… She offered to return it and take me out to buy one that fit, but I told her that the shirt was fine.

Shut up… I'll grow into it…

Moving right along… Emmy got me a stuffed penguin. I don't suppose that I've mentioned this, but penguins are my favorite animal….. and he was big, and fluffy, and soft… I think he's supposed to be an Emperor penguin too… He's _AWESOME! _Ehem... Thus, I have decided to call him Lord Fluffy the Terrible… It's an excellent name!

As for Cinder... She got me a swimsuit –because summer's coming up, she said… I'll have to grow into that too, it seems…

Of course, before I could put Lord Fluffy the Terrible on my shelf, I got hit in the back of the head with a pillow! It was Emmy of course. She wanted a pillow-fight, Hmph. So I gave her one. I couldn't exactly tell you what happened after that… it was all pillows and chaos… What I _do _remember for sure is that Yin hid behind the couch. The one time she _did _try to throw one, Emmy got her in the face, and Yin dropped her pillow. I feel sorry for her… but it was still pretty funny...

After that we sort of settled down and talk for a while. Mostly about what we were going to do with our vacation, but we never got around to Yin… she fell asleep by nine… So cute… Or as Summer said, and I quote, "totes adorbs." Cinder was kinda disappointed when it was time for lights out though… she wanted to play Truth or Dare too. I could have sworn that I was the last one asleep – I was too excited to sleep right away – or at least I thought I was the last one asleep, but _apparently not, _because I was the _first _one awake, and somehow Emmy – and I _know _wit was Emmy – had drawn a mustache on all our faces with a marker! I guess it was funny when she drew on own her own face too.

Still, I can't believe Yin didn't notice until Dad pointed it out at breakfast…

Officially fourteen years old,

Glynda


	11. Entry 11: Shopping

**Author's Note: Hello all, here's the first entry of the week! Another nice angsty one too. Just a quick reminder before we begin though, I am always open to requests for scenarios for these, in case there's anything in particular that you want to see. As always, Fav, Follow, or Review as you feel so inclined, and have a nice day. **

_Entry # 11: Age 14_

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Dear Diary,

So I bumped into Mr. Ozpin at the department store today… And I do mean _bumped… _very literally. And before you say it, no, I am not usually that clumsy. I was just… distracted… by the floor tiles… Very interesting floor tiles…

You see, it was my first time out shopping by myself; Mom and Dad were both working and Mom says that I need to 'be more independent' since I'm growing up. For what it's worth, I _get _that, but she couldn't help me with _this? _I mean, it's kind of embarrassing; she could _at least _be there for moral support. I mean… It's not like it's my fault that I had a growth spurt. Not enough to fit into that shirt or swimsuit I got for my birthday yet though…

At least that Winchester idiot can't call me flat-chested anymore…

So yeah, the whole time I was in the store I was too embarrassed to look up from the floor. I didn't want anyone to see me blushing. I thought to ask some of my friends to come along, but then I thought about it. Emmy was out right away; I'd never hear the end of it if I took her with me when I went shopping for that_ sort of thing. _I'm not sure that I'm good enough friends with Summer for that, so she was out too… I did call Cinder, and she sounded really disappointed that she couldn't help, but she couldn't come… apparently she was busy with some new part-time job she's started. So that left Yin, and I _did _call her, but she got even more red-faced than I did when I told her why. In retrospect, I don't think that she would have been much help anyway; she'd probably just make me even more nervous… Not that she's intimidating or anything, but she's so nervous all the time, she'd just me even more nervous. I don't know why she's always so mousey all the time though, she's probably the prettiest girl I know… If she wasn't so nice it would really piss me off…

But anyway, when I bumped into Mr. Ozpin, I was too embarrassed to talk. He congratulated me on doing well on my finals and said that he'd be keeping an eye on me… My progress that is… in academics and my training that is… I just nodded and hoped he'd leave. I like Mr. Ozpin, but… what was I supposed to say? "Hi Mr. Ozpin, I came to buy a bigger bra?" ABSOLUTELY NOT!

I wonder if he noticed…

But you know what the worst part is? He asked me if he could help me find anything! Apparently he could tell that I've never been shopping by myself before 'Just wanted to lend a hand,' he said, well, I don't need help and he can keep his hands to himself!

Wait… that came out wrong… It sounded awfully rude… I mean, if he _wants _to… Where was I going with that? That was going to a very strange place…

I did finally manage to convince him that I didn't need help though, and I thanked him for his offer, but told him that I could handle my shopping alone. Thank Dust he bought it… If he found out what I was _actually_ there to buy, I would just _die _of embarrassment! After he left I practically bolted for the women's clothing section and locked myself in a changing room. I took an hour in there just to calm down and stop blushing. And the _best part? _After all that, I bought the wrong size!

Add it to the pile of stuff I've got to 'grow into.'

Impatiently awaiting my next growth spurt,

Glynda


	12. Entry 12: Boredom

**Author's Note: Okay, here goes another one! Still very much interested in hearing what you think of the story by the way, and again request are welcome. As some of you have commented upon on chapter 9, I did indeed reference Lucky Star, and will be referencing other shows in future chapters as well (School Rumble and Penguindrum spring to mind) all of course in the name of a good laugh. Hopefully. Not in this chapter though… that I know of… Anyway, without further ado, please enjoy!**

_Entry # 12: Age 14_

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Dear Diary,

I'm not quite sure that I can properly express to you just how exceedingly BORED I am with this whole 'Summer Vacation' thing. It was nice at first, sure, not having classes (especially any with that crazy Ms. Faust) and I caught up on some reading I've been meaning to do (and shut up, Wizards of Romance is a masterpiece!) but after a while… I just sorta ran out of stuff to do.

None of my friends seem to have that problem though… Cinder's got her part-time job keeping her busy – she says she's saving money for something, but she wouldn't tell me what yet – so I couldn't hang out with her much at all this week. I did go over Emmy's house once but I think her parents are probably more insane than Ms. Faust, and anyway, she's so busy tinkering with her weapon in her spare time right now. She _did _succeed in making her Railgun small enough to carry (still not sure how) but then she decided that she wasn't happy with it anymore – "Needs more _oomph!" – _she insisted, so last I saw, she was trying to stick a drill on the end. I think she calls it 'Gungnir…' Yin's family had gone on vacation – visiting relatives in Mistral I think – and Summer went along with them for the two weeks apparently, so apparently, my options were to ask Qrow or Oobleck if they wanted to hang out (which I ruled out right away because they're nice guys, but I don't want them to get the wrong idea) or to poke around Vale trying to find out where it is Cinder actually works. So yeah, it's pretty much just like when I needed someone to go shopping with, except less embarrassing I suppose…

I guess that brings us to where we are now, doesn't it? I can't reasonably expect to actually find the _one place _Cinder works at just by waltzing into Vale for no particular reason. And even if I did, what would I say if I found her? 'Hi?' Hell no! That would just be weird… I wouldn't want to get her in trouble with her boss either… Ah well. I wonder if she's like, a cashier or a waitress? … Dammit, now I have to know…

Oh who am I kidding? I'm just SO FREAKING BOARED!

Isn't Summer supposed to be _fun?_ I mean, you're passable company, I suppose, and I could cuddle up with Lord Fluffy the Terrible all night, but beyond that… I've read all my books, studied _in advance _for next semester at Signal, and no matter how many times I try, I can't beat Lord Fluffy the Terrible in a card game! (He has an excellent poker face…). I just don't know what I'm supposed to do for the next two weeks until everyone else's schedule opens up! What's a girl supposed to do when all her friends are busy and her only company is a STUFFED EMPEROR PENGUIN?! This sucks…

Though I suppose that I could re-read chapter seven of-

Ehem…

Bored and antsy,

Glynda

P.S. Chapter seven is the best part, and it's romance, _not SMUT DAMMIT!_


	13. Entry 13: Cake

_Entry # 13: Age 14_

Dear Diary,

_I FOUND HER! _… Cinder, that is…

I was out in Vale today because I wanted to buy the newest Wizards of Romance book on release day (It's not smut, shut up! Though I would nonetheless be very appreciative if you never told my mother…) and after I did (wearing hat, sunglasses, and baggy sweater, just to be safe) I decided to reward myself for the cleverness of my disguise and the successful purchase of Volume 7: _The Charm of Chastity _(See? Does _that _title sound like smut to you? I didn't think so!) _, _Of course, at that point I was torn; should I visit the Glutton-Free Schnee Company Bakery, the new Healthy Schnee Fruit Salad Bar next to it, or the new Schnee next to _that _in the new Schnee Shopping plaza?

Incidentally, I thought the Schnees owned a _Dust _company… but I guess I digress…

Anyway, _proper choice _would have been the fruit salad bar I suppose, and I _do _like fruit… But who the Hell am I kidding? Of course I went to the cake shop! I was going to go into the fruit salad bar – really, _I was – _but there was this one cake in the window shaped like a penguin… Watching me… Judging me… so cocky with its stupid anthropomorphic smile that _clearly _boasted of being the cutest thing any passerby had seen all day. Well naturally, I couldn't let such an insolent affront to Lord Fluffy the Terrible go unpunished, so… I _might _have stormed in there, bought it, and ate the whole stupid penguin cake in one sitting… Justice was served with a side o vanilla ice cream…

Justice tastes good… It was _really _good cake…

Where was I? Oh right… Cinder…

As it turned out, in my haste to… Ehem… _defend the honor _of Lord Fluffy the Terrible, I didn't pay much attention to who was actually _serving me _the offending cake… You guessed it… Cinder… I don't think that I've ever seen her wear that much pink before… I still didn't recognize her though until half the cake's head was gone though, when she came over to my table on her break and _stared… _

I suppose that _I_ _might _have been a little overzealous about the cake…

It gets worse though; after almost five minutes of staring intently – her at me, me at the partially dismembered confection on my plate – she saw through my disguise… I figured at that point that there really wasn't any more need for it though, and that the jig was kinda up anyway, but if I knew what was going to come next, I think I might have tried to keep it up anyway… She said hi – perfectly safe – I greeted her as well – nothing incriminating there either – but _then, _what does she do but hold up my bag from the bookstore?! The one with my new… acquisition… inside… Apparently I'd forgotten it at the counter. Thank Dust that it was brown paper and not clear plastic… Wizards of Romance _is not Smut…_

But no one must _EVER know… _

I grabbed the bag from her with as much totally-not-guilty subtlety as I could, and thanked her for bringing it over to me, but no, that was not the end of it. First, she asked me what was in the bag, to which I responded in absolute truth that it was a book. She asked what kind of book it was. I said 'the kind that you read…'

Yeah… not one of my brighter moments… Not that you could have come up with anything better.

Either way, I could tell that she wasn't buying it by the way she raised her eyebrow and then proceeded to ask me why I was wearing a baggy sweater in the middle of July… You know in hindsight, I probably should have thought of that _before _I left home… Keeping my cool of course, I did what any proper young lady would do when confronted with a _baselessly _scandalous topic.

I changed the subject.

Specifically, I changed it to Cinder's job, and why she had decided to work at a cake shop over the Summer? Did she like it there? What's with the uniform? That skirt's only like, _eight inches! _Is the manager a pervert or something? You get the idea… I kinda tried to bury her in my own questions until she forgot what she was asking… and failing that, I at least dragged it out until her break ended…

Still, she blushed almost as hard as Yin does when I asked her about the uniform, and she asked me if I thought it was alright… Hmm… _I _certainly wouldn't wear it, but I really do think she makes it work… provided that she never has to bend forward… Seriously, I think I've seen _belts _broader than that skirt… but on the whole, she looked nice; maybe Cinder should try the 'cute' thing more often, kinda like Brigit in Volume 5: _Gentle Magic… _

…I'm glad I didn't think of that while I was in the store... I'm not sure I could've kept up the ruse if I did… Dust only knows what I'd do if Cinder ever found out that I read these… No matter how much I explain that it's all tastefully done, I think people would still get the wrong idea if they knew. It's not my fault that people are stupid! IT'S ART, DAMMIT! ART!

At least the cake was good…

Putting you away to read and _actual _book,

Glynda

**Author's Note: Guilty Conscience much Glynda? Ah well, I do hope it makes for some good laughs, cheap as they may be. As always, I do appreciate your readership, and would just **_**love **_**to see you fav, follow, or review as you see fit. Until next time!**


	14. Entry 14: Schnee World & Swimsuits

**Author's Note: And here's another entry! This time, Glynda & co. will be doing something fun, and I do hope that you all enjoy. As always, favs, follows, and feedback would be simply wonderful. **

_Entry # 14: Age 14_

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Dear Diary,

So everybody finally had a free day today; Cinder had the day off, Emmy finally finished tinkering with her spear-drill-Railgun-thing, and Yin and Summer came back from Mistral, so since we were all here again, Cinder decided to call us all to hang out – she said to meet her at the bus station – she had a surprise in mind. Well of curse I went – It wasn't doing anything today anyway… I haven't for weeks… Volume 7 only lasted me three days…

But that's the past; when I got to the bus station, Cinder was waiting there already, and so was Emmy; _apparently _they were trying to bet on who would show up last… Both of them wanted Yin… When they notice me though, the argument stopped, and Cinder came over to give me a hug and ask me if I brought my swimsuit…

What.

She insisted that she'd sent another message to everyone because she forgot to mention it in the first one. Cinder an Emmy had theirs, so It looks like I was the only one who didn't get the message… Stupid scroll… Anyway, that particular subject was dropped for the moment when Yin and Summer showed up… Somebody forgot sunscreen on their trip to Mistral…

So yeah… Yin had a pretty epic sunburn… I mean, Summer had a tan, but Yin, well… Yin Xiao Long does not tan well…

It took us a while to get Emmy to stop laughing, actually, and we almost missed the bus because of it, but we _did _get on the bus, and it was only after we were securely on the bus that Cinder actually told us why she called us all out there. Promptly she presented us each with a ticket to the Schnee-World water park… Apparently this was what she had been saving money for. She was _really _excited too. When I reminded her that _I _didn't have _my _swimsuit though, she told me not to worry, and that she knew the one she got me for my birthday was still a _little _too big, and that she'd help me grab one that fits at the park. Of course then Emmy offered to help, and before I long, _everyone _insisted to come along… So it was settled… the first thing we did when we got to the park was to go straight for the Schnee Swimsuit Emporium… Right next to the Schnee Spa, and the Schnee Juice Bar… You know, those Schnees are really big on product placement… I heard their even opening up a burrito parlor in town…

What followed was… a thing… I'm not sure that Cinder and Emmy get the fact that I can dress, and indeed _undress _myself… Cinder and Emmy practically _dragged _me into the changing stall and forcibly _stripped me! _Fortunately Cinder stepped out to take care of a nosebleed (seriously, I think she should really see a doctor about those) but I had to _shove _Emmy out of the stall to preserve _some_ of my modesty. I was just about to put my clothes back on so I could go out there and give them a piece of my mind when I realized that they were gone… And before I could protest this theft and the preceding violation of my privacy, four different hangers were shoved at me past the curtain. Swimsuits. All two-pieces. The all told me to 'pick one'… At least Yin had the decency to add 'if that's alright'…. One of them was a really pretty red, so I figured that Cinder picked that… It's a pity there wasn't enough of it… I _hope _it was supposed to be a joke, because it was positively indecent! Then there was a green one, which _would have been nice, _but it was too frilly… like a kid's swimsuit. The last two were better – practically the same actually – They were nice and _modest –_ well, as modest as two-pieces get anyway – one in White, the other in yellow. I tried the Yellow one on first, you know, cause it matches my hair, but when I tried to put the top on… too loose… Yep… Yin picked that one…

I'll get there DAMMIT! For _now though_, I went with the one that I think Summer picked out; same style, just in white, and it actually fit. By the time I walked out of the stall wearing it, everybody else had changed too… and Cinder and Emmy each handed Summer twenty Lien… Then they had me stand next to Yin… and handed Summer another twenty Lien… They had better not be betting on me again. Especially not if they're betting on what I think they are… Either way, I wasn't really comfortable with just walking around showing _that much _skin, so Summer got me a little robe to wear around the park…

It was fluffy…

After _that ordeal, _we actually went out into the part. First, we hit the pool, and then a whole bunch of waterslides, and then we rode the biggest Dust-operated water coaster, and it was _really AWESOME! _Yin threw up afterwards though… Back on the positive side, we rounded out the day by meeting the park mascot, Sharkie-chan!

Ehem… I mean, I opened relations with the esteemed representative of the Schnee company on behalf of Lord Fluffy the Terrible…

All in all, though it was a good day, and I really do owe Cinder a thank-you. She was surprisingly willing to pay for another swimsuit… If I didn't know better, I'd think she just wanted to see me wear one… Ridiculous…

Winding down after a good day,

Glynda


	15. Entry 15: Summer Romance

**Author's Note: I'd like to once again thank ElfCollaborator for letting me reference Weiss Reacts, however tangentially, in a couple of instances in this chapter actually, and I may have also invented an Uncle of Jaune's that those of you familiar with Fate/Zero might recognize. Anyway, I do hope you enjoy the chapter, and any feedback, Favs, or Follows would be much appreciated. **

_Entry # 15: Age 14_

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Dear Diary,

As Summer draws to a close, I had wanted to spend the last few days of it with some peace and quiet, do a little more preemptive studying… maybe reread some books as well… But no… Of course not, I got another call today. This time it was Emmy, with some ridiculous scheme. 'Every girl should have a summer romance,' she said; Absurd! The closest Emmy Valkyrie's ever been to a boy was that one time that she broke Duke Winchester's legs 'by accident' when he made Yin cry… I mean, he totally deserved it, but that's beside the point… The point _is _that Emily Valkyrie is the _last person _who should be jabbering on about 'summer romance'! Preposterous! Of course, at the time I didn't know just how literally she meant 'Summer romance'…

You see, when she said 'every girl' she meant _Summer; _apparently Emmy folks are friends with the Arc family. I was actually kind of surprised about it; the Arcs are almost as famous as the Schnees… Only less rich… Anyway, apparently the two Arc boys are more or less our age. One of them's kinda skinny and never wears a shirt, almost always wears weird sunglasses, and a cape too, and the other one is really kinda buff and frankly, I'm not sure he's actually fifteen… although I have to admit… he's probably got more awesome stored in his _beard _than anyone I've ever seen… I still don't think he's fifteen though… he wears a cape too… Either way though, they're both _massive blowhards _but_… _Dem abs… I didn't catch the skinnier one's name (the one time I met him, all I got out of hi was "WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM!" so I didn't ask again) but he doesn't matter anyway, it was the buff one – Alexander was his name – who wanted a date anyway, and for some reason Emmy agreed to set it up…

Oh who am I kidding, Emmy doesn't really do _anything _for a _reason… _

Now, I could, and _did _tell everyone that this was a bad idea, but Emmy and Cinder were all over the plan, and Yin was too busy hiding behind Summer to say anything when we actually met him… It was kinda funny actually, seeing Yin, who's almost four inches _taller _than Summer, hiding behind her… As for why Summer was on board with it, I couldn't tell you, unless she was seduced by those abs… and that beard…

Still don't think he's fifteen.

It was a weird day after that; Alexander picker her up – not in a car, though, he took a _chariot – _and whisked her off to dinner. As if _that _wasn't enough _Emmy _and _Cinder _insisted that we watch. As in, we followed the them on their date like absolute _creepers! _I was afraid that Cinder and Emmy were going to get us caught while fighting over the _camera _(I still don't know how they snuck that into the restaurant) but it was actually Yin who got us found out… She dropped a pepper shaker and it broke in a huge cloud of pepper. The sneezing fit that resulted, while _absolutely ADORABLE, _it was also very noticeable… I wanted to hid under our table when Summer came over, but surprisingly, she wasn't very mad… and Alexander thought it was funny. They didn't make a second date though; turns out Alexander didn't want an actual _date _though, so much as to recruit Summer to help him in his "Glorious Conquest" of Vale…

Why are the hot guys always idiots?

Well, if there's one thing that I've reaffirmed through all of this, it's that you should never ship your friends. It's a sure road to hurt feelings, embarrassment, and plus, it's just plain rude! Of course I say 'reaffirm' because I've already learned that very important lesson form Wizards of Romance Volume 4: The Book of Beauties… Poor Brigit…

Disavowing any involvement,

Glynda


	16. Entry 16: Back to School

**Author's Note: Here we go again! This week, brace for references to School Rumble, Dusk: Maiden of Amnesia, more School Rumble, and possibly others. Not this chapter though – although Not-Iskander Arc is back, and will be around. For now though, do enjoy, and please, leave a review with your thoughts or any suggestions. **

_Entry # 16: Age 14_

* * *

Dear Diary,

It was a nice break, I suppose, but Summer vacation is finally over, and it is now time to resume my progress along the path to becoming a successful Huntress.

If only my schedule wasn't absolutely AWFUL this semester!

Grimm Anatomy 2 with Ms. Faust, Grimm behavior with Ms. Faust, Applied Dust Theory 2 (the only _good class_), Alchemical Dust Applications (seriously, I want to be a _Huntress, _not a pharmacist!) with Ms. Faust, and Life Cycles of the Grimm with – you guessed it – Ms. Faust…. I suppose I will say one thing for the woman; she certainly isn't a slacker, even if she is a complete and utter PSYCHO!

It's gonna be a long semester…

It wasn't _all _bad news though; Yin and Cinder are in all of my classes this time around, and Summer and Emmy are in Grimm Anatomy 2 and Grimm Behavior as well, so at least there's that. Oh, and there's also the Fall Festival coming up too! That sounds like fun! I think… Don't have much information about how that's going to work yet, but we're supposed to get details next week, so I'm looking forward to that, if nothing else.

Still, I can't help but worry that we've got so many classes with Ms. Faust… I mean, I don't know how Cinder will react to her, but really, I'm more worried about Emmy… Between her and 'Gretchen' I think that might just be too much crazy for one classroom… And there's no telling what Ms. Faust will do if Emmy brings her sloth to class…

I still have nightmares about the Beowolf puppies…

In other news, we all have the same lunch block this time too. It's the same one as Alexander Arc… He uh… 'conquered' our lunch table as the first step towards his goal of seizing all of Vale… Not quite sure what to think of that one…. You really just can't help but like the guy – I mean, he's a pompous ass, and full of himself besides, _but he's a hot pompous ass… _Surprisingly though, he's actually not as much of an idiot as I thought he was… while he was making another pitch to the lot of us to get us to join his 'invincible army' he outlined a surprisingly detailed plan to conquer the city… Apparently he's friends with the Heir to the Schnee Dust company – I think Siegfried was his name – and he's on board with it. Honestly, sometimes I wonder what the world's coming to…

…Hard to argue with dem abs though… I wonder if he thinks I'm pretty?

NO! No, no, no no, _NO! _

He's hot, but he's much too crass! Absolutely _nothing _like Anton from Wizards of Romance – that man is a true romantic! Alexander's just a huge egotist! Probably only interested in a girl for her body!

… I'm just as hot as Summer is anyway…

Pfft! Who am I kidding? He didn't even want to actually _date _Summer anyway! He's probably too interested in _himself _to notice a girl that way anyway! Like I said: a hut Egotist! A huge egotist with _really nice abs, _huge biceps and-

It's okay if I just _look, right? _Mr. Ozpin doesn't need to know…

Whatever! I've got the whole semester to stress out and get over this! I just have to remember the lesson Brigit learned in Volume 2:: Skin Deep: hot guys aren't always _good _guys… although good guys are almost always hot guys… with really nice abs…

…I should probably stop thinking about this…

Bracing for a rough semester,

Glynda


	17. Entry 17: Pre-Festival Battle Royale

**Author's Note: Alright, here we go; ode to School Rumble, part one! Specifically, episodes 29 and 30, if I'm not mistaken. Anyway, do enjoy, and please leave your thoughts in the reviews. **

_Entry # 17: Age 14_

* * *

Dear Diary,

War is Hell… but perhaps I'm getting ahead of myself…

Yesterday, we got more information about how the school's Fall Festival is going to be planned. Apparently, each first-period class was supposed to vote on some sort of presentation/display attraction _thing _for the festival. I guess the purpose of it all is to demonstrate to our parents and the people of Vale in general that the students of Signal Academy are receiving a 'well-rounded and cultured education,' or at least that's what _my _first period teacher said, and seeing as my first period class this semester is Grimm Anatomy 2 with Ms. Faust, it was bound to be crazy. After takin that vote though, we had an impasse… There were an even number of votes for a class play, a concert featuring Yin as the lead singer (incidentally she suffers from _massive _stage fright) and… a maid café…

Perverts… Stupid, stupid idiot perverts…

Anyway, that left our class of twenty-five split evenly, plus Yin, who was too scared of all of the options, and for a while, it looked like we weren't going to ever settle on one thing. And then Emmy opened her mouth… One thing led to another and all of us, Ms. Faust included (as an impartial observer, of course) wound up at the school after dark… for a battle Royale… Now, I've seen _a lot _of stupidity in my fourteen years, but this case takes the cake. Summer was on the concert team, Emmy was on the play team (though I'm still not sure how I feel about that five-hour sloth-opera that she's got her heart set on…) and Cinder… for _some ridiculous reason she was on the Maid Café teem… _I bet that stupid Duke Winchester's blackmailing her or something. When all the teams were lined up in their starting positions, Ms. Faust made Yin blow the starting whistle… I don't think she wanted to though, but since she abstained from the vote, Ms. Faust forced her to be her 'assistant,' although assistant for what exactly went conspicuously unmentioned. As for me, I was on the play team too; it seemed like the safest option…

And Ms. Faust said I'd get a bad grade if I didn't come…

Oobleck was the first to die, leaving the concert team one in the hole… Guy ran so fast he couldn't stop himself from running into Gungnir's drill end… Poor sod never saw it coming… Not to brag or anything, but Duke Winchester went next – some of my finest work actually; I froze him in a ball, and bowled over his Bronzewing toady too… But then Summer knocked out half our team in a sneak attack (she's surprisingly good with that bow contraption). This of course prompted Emmy to pull out all the stops and Railgun the whole East wing down…

Again…

When the dust settled, Emmy had taken _herself out_, along with the rest of Summer's team and one more of the Maid café team… That left our team with me and two others (whom Cinder promptly fried), Summer by herself, and after my freezing one and Summer sniping the other Cinder was without backup too. It was a standoff… Well, it _was… _because right then, Alexander Arc charged in on his _chariot, _knocking _all three of us out!_

He declared himself 'Conqueror of the East Wing…"

I protested to Ms. Faust, but she _allowed it! _Do you believe that! He's not in our class, he's a year ahead of us, and he rudely interrupted our _internal dispute! _Not that I was taking the whole ridiculous episode seriously or anything… When our 'Glorious Conqueror' addressed us afterward though, I kinda felt really stupid… It honestly hadn't occurred to any of us that we could have done all of them… Well, not _really all of them, _but as 'Conquering King,' his first decree was that we should enact a _musical play and a maid café, _delegating the script and composition of the musical to Emmy and Summer, while Cinder was to be in charge of the café. At least that stupid Winchester doesn't get a say; with Cinder in charge, I'm sure that the establishment will dignified and respectable… As for the East Wing, fortunately, Ms. Faust's semblance is the drawing of transmutation circles, so she fixed the East wing in a jiffy and no one ever needs to know…

Not liable for any property damage,

Glynda

P.S. You're a useful vent, I suppose, but not irreplaceable; tell _ANYONE _about the East wing, and you will burn at the stake…


	18. Entry 18: Maid Culture

**Author's note: More School Rumble referencing! Plus Dusk: Maiden of Amnesia (one scene in episode 5 specifically) and a further nod to ElfCollaborator's Weiss Reacts to boot! As always, I do hope that you enjoy, and if you felt so inclined to fav, follow, and review, I would be highly appreciative. But anyway, I'll leave you to it.**

_Entry # 18: Age 14_

* * *

Dear Diary,

Can somebody _please _explain to me just what in the ACTUAL HELL IS SO SEXY ABOUT CAT EARS!? AND WHAT THE HELL DOES _ONI-CHAN _MEAN ANYWAY!?

Ehem… You'll have to forgive my brief lapse of decorum; its… it's… it's been a long day… Today, you see, was the first day of the Signal Academy Culture Festival, and consequently, the opening day for Grimm Anatomy 2's _maid café… _Cinder calls it a success. I call it a disappointment. No, not financially – trust me, we've had more business than we know what to do with – but I can't shake the feeling that no one comes here for the food… I mean, all we serve is cheap coffee, cheaper tea, and I'm not really sure that those _things _Ms. Faust keeps wheeling out of the kitchen can legally be considered _food… _the only thing anywhere near _edible _that we've served came out of that truckload of burritos that _'his majesty' _managed to get from Siegfried Schnee somehow… And Cinder 'appropriated' half of those…

As class treasurer – and _clearly _the only one who intended to try and make this… _thing _respectable – I tried to find a better solution, the first step towards which was to take Ms. Faust out of the kitchen before she resorted to necromancy - "you know, for that extra _ZING_" – and replacing her as chef with someone mentally competent to stand trial in the likely event of a lawsuit, which left me with… nobody who knew how to work an oven…. Great… The solution? Didn't have one… You know, sometimes I think it would be nice to live without a care… but then I think about what happens to the East Wing when people like me start to let themselves think like people like Emmy… It would be chaos…

Long story short, we accepted the burritos.

Of course, when word got out that we had cute waitresses serving Schnee Burritos, the customers thundered madly our way. Some of them even came for the burritos. Most of them came because Yin's maid outfit was a size too small… You know, if I didn't know better, I might think Cinder does that on purpose… but then, everybody's uniforms were pretty tight… Hers included… Was she _always that big? _Focus Goodwitch! The _point is, _the uniforms were ridiculous, because _on top _of the frilly pink maid outfits that _I think _she borrowed from the Schnee Cake Shop, Cinder made all the waitresses wear _CAT EARS and a JINGLE BELL around their NECKS! _I know she wants our attraction to be a financial success, but Dust, some things just aren't done! I love her (in a best friend sort of way) but sometimes I think that Cinder just has too much ambition… And to top it all off? SHE MADE _ME _WEAR ONE TOO! _"It's for the café" _she said, _"It'll be fun" _she said… WELL IT _WASN'T 'FUN' AND THE CAFÉ CAN SOD OFF! _

I only wanted the play anyway…

Turns out though, they did _actually _need me out front… Seriously, I don't think I've ever seen a room that packed, so I agreed to help… Didn't make me feel any better about wearing _that _though… The skirt was only like, _eight inches, _the shirt was too tight (and the top button was missing to boot!) and I have _no words _for those stupid, _stupid _CAT EARS! Not that there's anything wrong with cat ears per se – I know a few Faunus with adorable, _real _cat ears, but these? Like I said: no words. I spent the _whole day _being ogled by creepers! And I have to do it again tomorrow… The worst part is, the more yell at them to keep their hands to themselves and their heads out of the gutter, _the more they want me as their waitress! _Are they _stupid _or something?

Emmy's script for the play on the last day of the festival had better be awesome…

Still don't know what "Oni-Chan" means,

Glynda

P.S. I don't care what Cinder says, I am _NOT _a Tsundere! Whatever that's supposed to mean…


	19. Entry 19: The Reduced Valkyrie Company

**Author's Note: Okay ladies and gents, here we go! The whole play thing to round out the school festival arc was **_**supposed **_**to be another School Rumble reference, but it kind of got out of hand… I do hope that you enjoy anyway, and please leave your thoughts in the reviews, and fav/follow if you are so inclined. **

_Entry # 19: Age 14_

* * *

Dear Diary,

I really suppose that I should probably stop underestimating Emily Valkyrie… It's frankly amazing what she can do when she puts her mind to it…

I didn't think that she could build a Railgun either, and here she is, proving me wrong again on the last day of the Fall Festival… Not only did she write a script, but she did _in fact _write an opera. And it was, _in fact FIVE HOURS LONG! _Now mind you, opera is just fine in and of itself – and in _small doses –_ but can somebody please tell me precisely _WHICH CIRCLE OF HELL _it is in which a _FIVVE HOUR LONG _performance is considered _civilized or enjoyable!? _I lost my voice somewhere around act two... then got it back just in time to lose it _AGAIN during_ the climax in act _SIX! _She called this monstrosity 'King Sweeney Leer XVIII's Odyssey to the center of the Ring Cycle's Inferno Chronicles…With Cross-dressing…'

Where do I even _begin? _

The 'plot' – such as I could make of it anyway, and I was _in it – _revolves around a Mad King seeking revenge on a corrupt judge for stealing his sixth (or was it seventh?) wife before he himself got the chance to have her head chopped off for eating salad with a dessert fork or something, and his quest to get her back leads him into battle with gods, demons, giants, dragons and the odd tribble (which swiftly became a thousand tribbles – don't ask how, I don't know) all in order to win the favor of the all-powerful Sloth-God and obtain the Holy Hand-grenade with which to slay the evil judge about whom we only then find out was actually the wife all along, and after whose demise by ritually-blessed explosive device the King is forced then to journey through _Hell _in order to execute her properly this timed! Did that make sense to you? I didn't think so, but that was all I could understand between the _TEWNTY-SEVEN FREAKING MUSICAL NUMBERS _and innumerable costume-changes, all the while reading Emmy's cues from stage right! And I still don't know why it's called "The Reduced Valkyrie Company's etc. etc. etc… I mean there's nothing _reduced about that THING! _

With the possible exception of my mental health…

Oh, and don't think for a minute that I forgot the cross-dressing bit – oh no. You see, Emmy decided that, since back in the day, all women's roles in plays were performed by _men, _in _her magnum opus, _all the _men's _roles would be played by _women! _She cast _Yin – YIN XIAO LONG! – _as the mad king – the poor girl was so petrified that she could barely speak, much less intimidate or laugh maniacally – and that ridiculous crow kept slipping down over her eyes, so she tripped… let's see… ten to the power of… carry the one… Let's just go with a lot… Meanwhile _I _had to be the evil (or was it, I'm still confused) fork-switching Wife-Judge! I'm not _villainous! _I'm a _model student, DAMMIT! _AND MY TABLE-MANNERS ARE EXCELLENT! Still, I might not have minded so much if she hadn't _insisted _that it was _crucial _to the characterization that I also wear a powdered wig… Who does that!?

The rest of the cast got off easy by comparison. Duke Winchester and Gull Bronzewing were the giants, on whom I vented perhaps more frustration than was necessary when their scene came up that I was supposed to order them around (why the wife-judge had control of the giants went conspicuously unexplained), Oobleck was one of the gods that Yin had to viciously maim with a Meat-Clever which Emmy further insisted was to be called 'the Unholy Sword, Deus Ex Gasai' because _apparently _it was imbued with what Emmy called 'Yandere power' and was 'crucially symbolic' of Yin's character… no comment… Cinder was the dragon (using _real fire _for dragon's breath, I might add) and the tribbles… They were _actually tribbles, _not just something Emmy made up_ – _apparently their some kind of benign species of Grimm that Ms. Faust breeds as a hobby in her backyard… Anyway, the little buggers multiply so fast we had to take a twenty minute intermission during that scene to clear the stage before we all suffocated in to heaping mound of fluffiness… Oh, and she got Qrow to be the Sloth-God.

When it was _finally _over, Alexander was the only one left in the audience. He said it was and epic, avant-garde _masterpiece… _Everyone else apparently thought it was a flop, though he insisted that the rest of the audience had simply been 'cowed by our greatness…' He insisted that the best way to 'conquer' your foes – in this case the audience, apparently – was to win them over or awe them into submission through a demonstration of 'superior culture' without ever drawing a sword…Well, between a _cat-ear maid café _and the abhorrent crime against crime against theater that we've perpetrated here today, I for one am a little dubious about the 'superiority' of our culture… I think I'll stick to t;he much more coherent narratives of the Wizards of Romance series... At least with those you always know that the best part is always in chapter 7...

Solemnly swearing never to perform in a production written by Emmy Valkyrie _EVER _again,

Glynda

P.S. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go break Emmy's scroll before she uploads any of those pictures of me in a powdered wig to the Dustnet…


	20. Closing Ceremonies

_Entry # 20: Age 14_

* * *

Dear Diary,

The fall festival is finally over… first good news I've had all week…

I mean, I suppose that the festival was fun and all – well, while I was able to be out and about, and not being a cat-ear maid or some ridiculous _wife-judge – _but now that everything has settled down, I was looking forward to getting back into my nice, normal, not utterly ridiculous routine… As if…

I really thought I destroyed all the evidence, but apparently Emmy had a backup for her scroll's memory… so for the closing assembly, the whole student body was treated to a slide-show mash-up of tribbles, Qrow dressed as a sloth, Yin tripping and falling on her face again, and again, _and again… _and _me in a powdered wig! _Dammit Emmy! As if that weren't bad enough, _when did she take pictures at the MAID CAFÉ!?_

I knew those skirts were too short…

After that, the Headmaster started handing out awards to the various classes who participated in the displays. Best weapons display, best choreographed Dust show (totally ripped off our Applied Dust Theory 101 final), etc. etc. Our class won both the biggest financial success (the café, surprise, surprise) and most… _elaborate production _(which I think that the Headmaster made up for our play so Emmy wouldn't blow up the East Wing again). I suppose that we deserved those awards… Emmy's opera certainly was… _elaborate_ (if not coherent) and our class made three-thousand Lien on the café, _after expenses… _You know, I like success, but money kinda feels dirty… After the award ceremony though, the Headmaster made an announcement…

Bad news…

MR. OZPIN'S LEAVING!

Mr. Ozpin was offered a professorship at Beacon… which is great – I'm happy for him, really, I am – but that means after this semester, he's leaving Signal… It's a great opportunity for him, and I wish him the best (Shut up, I do!) but after he leaves, I'm gonna miss the man – well, at least until I go to Beacon… then I'll get four more years to get Ozpin-Senpai to notice me, and by then _I'll be GORGEOUS! _

No, I don't like him, shut up!

Still, even if it's temporary, it's hard to say goodbye to someone who's been an important – AND COMPLETELY PLATONIC – part of your life for over a year. He was always so nice and kinda quirky too, but that just helps you feel less weird around him because he's not perfect either, you know? Even that silly "God-Emperor of Swag" pin looks more funny than arrogant when he wears it… Still looks pretty ridiculous though… but that's what makes him charming – IN A COMPLETELY PROFESSIONAL WAY! When he leaves, I guess I'll just have to take solace in the fact that Ms. Faust is going too… Thank Dust… although the headmaster didn't say who would be filling their jobs yet… He _did _however announce that we would be receiving a substantial number of transfer students... So I guess there's that.

Swapping the teacher I love most (it's a figure of speech, shut up!) for a bunch of strangers I don't know and probably won't like… Is it too late for someone else to get that Beacon job? Or maybe they could hold it for him? I mean, it would only have to be three years...

They can have Ms. Faust now though…

Now quite sure how to take all of this,

Glynda

**Author's Note: And there we have it, the last one for the week, with a bittersweet (but mostly Tsundere-fodder) parting on the horizon for one of next week's entries. Thanks again to ElfCollaborrator, both for letting me reference Weiss Reacts (i.e. "God-Emperor of Swag") and for referencing this in return at time of writing in the reactsverse one-shot 'Homecoming' (check it out, it's hilarious). All that aside, I do in fact intend to bring in some transfer students next week, and **_**all of them **_**will be references in the noble name of a few more cheap laughs! Current candidates include AKB0048 (yes, the whole thing) Yuko Kanoe (Dusk: Maiden of Amnesia), and possibly some Guilty Crown Expies, though I have yet to decide. If you have suggestions as to the whom the new transfers should be, or for future scenarios, feel free to let me know or drop a prompt in the reviews along with your thoughts on the chapter. Until next time! **


	21. Entry 21: The Signal Academy Ghost

**Author's Note: Made it! Sorry this one's so late, it's been a busy day, and like to be a busy couple of weeks, so unfortunately, I may not be able to post a new one for all five weekdays for a while, and they'll come later in the day besides, but I will do my best – THIS IS NOT ON HIATUS DAMMIT! – certainly not. Anyway, there is still time to opine if you'd like to see anything in particular referenced in coming chapters; I'm always open to requests, and I appreciate any reviews, favs, and follows. **

_Entry # 21: Age 14_

* * *

Dear Diary,

OHMYDUSTTHESCHOOLISTOTTALLYHAUNTED!

Ehem… perhaps some explanation is in order…

I'll start from the beginning. Because, as I told you last time, Mr. Ozpin will be leaving the school for Beacon Academy next semester, I've decided to be the top student for this semester… You know, to make sure he remembers me when I go to Beacon… Shut up! I _am not _desperate to impress Ozpin-Senpai!

More like eager… but not desperate!

Anyway, even though I don't have a long way to go to be Signal's top student (because of how naturally exceptional I am, of course) I figured that it couldn't hurt my chances to study, so I decided to do that, and so naturally I went to the library. For the past week I've been spending every spare moment in the library, studying like crazy. Monday I studied for Grimm Anatomy, Tuesday I worked on Grim Behavior, Dust Theory 2 on Wednesday, and Life Cycles of Grimm on Thursday. I _was _going to do some research for my upcoming Alchemical Dust project today, but then something weird happened… You see, I got up to go find a book that might be useful for my research, but when I got back to my private study room, my stuff had been messed with!

I know what you're thinking, but hear me out; The room was locked, and I had the key, plus, my pencils were six inches to the left of where I left them! And rotated ninety degrees clockwise! Still not buying it, huh? Well if you _must know, _the ghost had also gone through my backpack (who do you complain to when a _ghost _invades your privacy!?) because on the desk, instead of in the secondary zipper compartment of my backpack where I left it, was my copy of Wizards of Romance Volume 6: Old Flames, and the pages were flipping _themselves! _Admittedly perplexed, I tried to grab it, but the book pulled away on its own! And when I finally _did _grab it, it _still _tried to pull away! What the Hell!? Sure, I'd heard the rumors that the library was haunted or something, but I never actually _believed it! _Of course, it was right around when I thought of that when suddenly, I wasn't alone in the room anymore. Fighting me over my book was some other girl I've never seen before! My reaction to this was the logical one…

I screamed and fell backwards on the floor…

You know what she did then? She laughed at me! This is _her fault, _and she laughed at me! So I get up to give her a piece of my mind, and she stops, like she wasn't expecting me to object or something. Of course I then started to tell her how rude it is to rifle through other people's belongings and rotate their pencils, but halfway through that, and _totally out of nowhere, _the freaking psycho _GLOMPS ME!_ I don't know about you, but _I _for one reserve the privilege of glompingg for only my closest friends… After I shoved her off of me though, she explained that her name was Yuko… and that she was a ghost…

What.

Apparently she 'tethered' to a rusty little bell on display on one of the Library's shelves, so when I bumped into it looking for the annual edition of a book called 'Alchemical Oddities' I got myself haunted…

Great…

Still, after sitting down and talking to her (and more importantly, swearing her to silence – although I'm not sure who she would tell, being a ghost and all) she didn't seem too bad; a bit ditzy perhaps. No, what _really _pissed me off was looking at her; she had really long, _perfect _black hair, really pretty brown eyes, and she's built like a freaking _supermodel! _I mean seriously, what does a girl have to do to look like _that?_ I know she said that she died at fifteen, but come on! Yin, Cinder, Summer - what did I do to deserve being surrounded by people who are prettier than me, huh? They're even coming back from the dead now!

And you know what the worst part is? When I told Mom about what happened (leaving out certain details, of course) and how I'm now being haunted by a pretty girl with personal space issues, you wanna know what she said? She asked me if I was _SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED! _WHO THE HELL DOES THAT? What kind of person – no, _what kind of MOTHER – _asks her daughter something like _THAT!? _Yuko's a ghost, and she's real dammit! Not just some stupid, perverted fantasy! _I DO NOT HAVE THOSE!_

…I HAVE Wizards of Romance for that…

Officially haunted,

Glynda


	22. Entry 22: The Neighbor's Brigade

**Author's Note: And here's another one! I hope you enjoy it, as well as the intrusion of a certen ghost into Glynda's diary (all in the name of cheap laughs, of course). Anyway, I'll stop talking now and let you get on with the reading, so please fav, follow, or review if you feel so inclined; I really do appreciate your support. **

_Entry # 22: Age 14_

* * *

Dear Diary,

So Cinder decided that we needed a school club today…

Me, Cinder, Yin, Emmy, Summer, and some bowler-hat wearing weirdo that Cinder met during the festival… I think his name was Roland or something. Anyway, Cinder said that, since we always hang out together anyway, we might as well 'make it official' and get a club room out of the deal. That was _her plan, _anyway, and I was going to vote 'no' because the whole scheme is just an excuse to screw around even more than we already do, but before I could, a _certain _bell-haunting ghost snuck up on me and shook my head back and forth like a ragdoll! So now, not only did everyone get the totally _WRONG _impression that I was on board with all this nonsense, but Cinder thinks I'm like, _really into it! _Ugh! Dammit Yuko!

**Admit it! You're glad I did it! You're just too stubborn to admit-**

SHUT UP AND STOP READING MY DIARY!

**No promises~**

Ugh…

Anyway, as you can probably guess, things didn't go exactly according to Cinder's plan… It seems that her new friend just wanted an excuse to put an extracurricular activity on his transcript, whether we actually did anything productive or not, and then, because Cinder decided to name it 'the Neighbor's Brigade' Alexander Arc stormed in and took over the place… Apparently the term 'brigade' gave him the wrong idea, and so he spent almost an hour sketching battle plans on the chalkboard and asking if we had preferences as to our share of the spoils of conquest… To make matters worse, _Yuko _decided to chalk her own name on the roster! That wouldn't have been a problem normally, but she's kind of… well… a ghost… and I'm the only one who can see her… So now everyone thinks the club room is haunted – okay, so it kind of _is, _but only when _I'm in there! _Now Cinder and Emmy are determined to 'solve the mystery of the haunted club room,' and Yin cowers behind Summer every time that something actually _does move! _Thanks _a lot _Yuko…

**You're welcome~ **

DAMMIT YUKO!

**You love it! It was just like that one chapter in you book-**

You promised that you wouldn't tell anyone!

**It's just your diary… And anyway, if it embarrasses you, maybe you shouldn't read that sort of smut…**

Wizard of Romance Volume 3: The Sensual Spirit IS NOT SPUT!

'_**Oh Anton, please, give me-,' **_

DUST DAMMIT YUKO! GIVE THAT BACK!

I really need to find a better place for those – and _no, Yuko, _I don't care if you've read all the books in the library, you may not read these! And don't tell me to 'respect my elders!' you're not even a whole year older than me!

**Technically speaking, I'm fifty-six and a half years older than you… **

Old hag…

**Hey! **

Do you mind? I'm _trying _to write here! You shouldn't write in someone else's diary! It's rude and an invasion of privacy!

**Fine, but only if you get me my own. **

Whatever! Just leave _mine _alone! Thank Dust _that's over… _Anyway, The Neighbor's Brigade… Actually… there isn't much to say about it really; we just kinda met up, like we always do, and accomplished _nothing! _Again, like we always do… Although Cinder said that she was going to bring her game console tomorrow, so I guess there's that… I wonder what kind of video games that Cinder's into anyway? Oh well, I guess I'll find out…

**Ooh, ooh! I'd like to try! **

I'm not dealing with this right now…

Off to buy a ghost her own diary,

Glynda

**P.S. Glynda-kun is **_**so cute **_**when she's angry…**

P. P. S. S-shut up you pervert!


	23. Entry 23: Video Games

**Author's Note: Here goes another one! Looks like I might be on track to post one every weekday this week after all! Anyway, I'll leave you to it, and I hope that you enjoy; fav, follow, and review as you so desire – I really do appreciate any support!**

_Entry # 23: Age 14_

Dear Diary,

Well, Cinder did indeed bring her game console to the club room… Kinda wish she didn't though…

Turns out, she has a Gamestation 4 from Sono electronics - Incidentally, I would have thought, what with all the time she spends in the Schnee Burrito Parlor, the fact that she works for the Schnee Cake shop, and that her favorite soda is Shi-nee Cola, that she would have gone for the Schnee company's Ice Box Eins, but I guess that brand loyalty isn't everything - and she brought all of her games with her. You know, they say that you can learn a lot about a woman by the contents of her purse (Yin had keychain-sized AKB0048 plushies, Emmy has a lead pipe, etc.) but I think in this case that one can learn more about a person by the contents of their contents of her games drawer…

The results were… disturbing…

Sure, the stack _started _innocent enough; a few Persona games here, a CLANNAD port there (I don't make a habit of playing visual novels, but that's one of my favorites) and Dance Dance Revolution (although I'm _convinced _that this particular game was designed with the sole intention of humiliating the player) but as we looked deeper into the stack, things got… well I suppose _ugly _wouldn't strictly speaking be the appropriate word, but… Let's see… Dead or Alive Beach volleyball, Catherine, Lollipop Chainsaw (what the hell kind of title is _that?_), and a number of… shall we say, _less tasteful _visual novels… Basically the sort of stuff that 'has a secondary physics engine just for the boobs!' (quote: Emmy Valkyrie, with some perverse glee, it must be said) or stories about a half-dozen clueless and love-struck bimbos inexplicably orbiting some pathetic milquetoast loser, never missing a chance to 'trip' on top of the protagonist and show some cleavage 'by accident.' I'm already surrounded by enough implausibly pretty girls in real life, and one even haunts me from beyond the grave; _the last thing I need _is to deal with more of them in _video games! _It's enough to give a girl a complex…

And I was _so _second place until _Yuko _showed up…

When I asked Cinder to explain all these racy games though, she _insisted _to me that there _weren't smut! _Can you believe that? She said that they are works of art! And shut up! I _do _know what irony is! It's just that Wizards or Romance (not that I brought them up) are _books, _and therefore _art; _video games, art? Pfft! 'Romantic' Visual novels are for losers who couldn't get a _real date, _whereas _romance novels _are for… people who… Hmm… Whatever! The point is, _Cinder _is a HUGE PERVERT! I on the other hand, am a connoisseur of fine literature, shut up! I suppose Cinder did promise to take all the dirty ones home tomorrow – if we took a vote on it first.

Cinder, and Emmy voted to keep them 'cause there's no reason to lug them all the way back home' _right… perverts… _while Summer and a furiously blushing Yin voted to get rid of them. Roman (whose name is not Roland, my mistake) didn't get a vote because Cinder had arbitrarily decided that his club membership was 'probationary' for some reason, although we barely know the guy, so fair enough. At this point, I _could have _settled this once and for all, and purged the club room of a smutty digital materials, but again, _Yuko _decided to use my vote for me… she raised my hand to keep them… She's… surprisingly strong for a ghost… Because of _that _though, Yin wouldn't sit right next to me for a _week! _And Summer keeps giving me these funny looks, like she's disappointed or something – they think _I'm _a perv too! IT WAS YUKO, I SWEAR!

**What are you talking about? I was busy reading through Volume 4-**

YUKO, WE HAD A DEAL!

**Sorry…**

I was _totally _framed…. Please Yin, don't judge me… I don't think I can handle Yin's scared look… I swear I'm not some kind of creeper!

Desperately hoping everyone forgets about this,

Glynda

**Author's Note: Now, some of you will probably be wondering why I went with ersatz game consoles, but real games; rest assured, it was deliberate, as I'm foreshadowing another reference with the Sono Electronics game station (1000 points to anyone who can guess what – and there is one other hint in the chapter) and I just figured I'd ersatz the other to briefly satirize the console war thing. **


	24. Entry 24: Semester Ends

**Author's Note: Here we go again folks! And so we complete Glynda's first year of Signal Academy (although to be honest, the other three probably won't take up as many chapters as this one did) and we move on with her life! But not before some broody angsting, of course. Please enjoy, and let me know what you think of the chapter, and fav or follow as you so desire. Have a nice day. **

_Entry 24: Age 14_

* * *

Dear Diary,

That was it, the fall semester, and my first year at Signal academy, is officially over. I've had some ups and downs, it's true; I've made some friends, put Duke Winchester in his grimy, sniveling, lowlife place and… What was I talking about? Oh, end of the semester… right… The point is, I've had some good times, but as a wise man/woman/intermediate (not quite sure _who _actually) once said, all good things must come to an end, and I have certainly had no shortage of difficulties… Let's see I had that Dust accident in the alchemy lab… I got haunted (still can't get rid of _her, _by the way) and I've been forced to totally humiliate myself on stage in the name of 'total victory' at the Fall Festival… Worst of all though, Mr. Ozpin did actually move on to teach at Beacon… sad face…

N-not that I _like him _or anything! H-he's just… my favorite teacher… It's perfectly natural _and _NOT AT ALL PERVERTED to miss one's favorite teacher! And he's gonna be gone for three years… Whatever! Not like I _care _anyway; he totally _isn't _handsome at all! He's just nice… and understanding… and a sharp dresser… I doubt someone like him would even be interested in me anyway… Yin's still prettier… Yuko says I shouldn't worry about it so much – 'you're perfectly adorable just the way you are' she says, and while of course that _is true, _'adorable' isn't really what I'm going for. I need less cut and more sexy… Just one more growth spurt, I think, that's all I need… For now though, I suppose Yuko's right for once – I _am _totally, er… what's that word she used again? Oh yeah, _moe! _I am totally moe! Not like I could forget it… she keeps going on about it at night after lights-out… Apparently ghosts don't sleep… yay… I suppose I really can't hate her for it though – when you think about it, I'm kinda the first human contact she's had in like, fifty years…

Still, following me into the shower is crossing the line…

I suppose that it's not all bad though; I'll see him again when I go to Beacon… I wonder if he'd recognize me if I wore contacts… and maybe filled out that swimsuit Cinder got me for my birthday… and- pure thoughts Glynda, _pure thoughts! _

Anyway, that isn't the silver lining to all this I suppose; there's always those new exchange students coming in after winter break; meeting new people is nice… I suppose… oh, and Alexander invited the whole Neighbor's brigade on a ski trip to one of the Schnee Ski Resorts, courtesy of his friend Siegfried Schnee, so that's something, I guess… You'll have to forgive my lack of enthusiasm... I guess I'm just not feeling it today…

Oh wait, I almost forgot! NO MORE MS. FAUST!

I guess that's kind of a mean thing to say, but she really is a freaking psycho… How did she get a teaching position anyway? I'm not even just talking about the fact that she's _COMPLETELY INSANE _either; she looks too young… Maybe she's just some kind of mad science prodigy, but she doesn't look a _day _over nineteen… Whose idea it was to hire a sociopathic woman-child to _teach _impressionable students in the first place is _beyond me! _But as I said, she's going to Beacon too, so I get a nice three-year reprieve from _her _lunacy at least, so that's _one _thing that I can look forward to at least…

I've started having nightmares about rock-paper-scissors-truth-or-dare-twister…

Missing Ozpin-Senpai already,

Glynda


	25. Entry 25: Winter Break Begins!

**Author's Note: Yay vacation entry! And also, YAY FOR 10,000 VIEWS! Time for some winter break shenanigans at the Schnee resort! To be honest though, next week's first entry will still be at the resort, so hopefully you'll look forward to that, because there's plenty to do at the Schnee Ski lodge~**

**Anyway, please fav, follow or review as you feel so inclined, the feedback always helps keep me motivated. **

_Entry 25: Age 14_

Dear Diary,

Never challenge the Arc Brothers to a snowball fight…

It started out nice enough; Alexander invited us all on a trip to the vale Schnee Ski resort – all good so far – and so naturally we all jumped at the chance; I mean, those places have skiing, spas, hot springs, the works! All told, the trip's roster included Alexander Arc, his Brother Andreas (you know, the one with the triangular sunglasses and no shirt), Siegfried Schnee, the heir to the Schnee business empire (and not to mention Vales most _eligible bachelor~_), Summer (and her brother Qrow as a chaperone), Yin, Emmy, Cinder me, and of course Yuko, who insisted I let her come along because she's 'bored' of haunting the school and my bedroom… not that I could have stopped her… Although, she was really excited about it, and much less annoying than usual – sure, she was just as glompy as usual when I told her that she could come, but she didn't mess with me while anyone else was around to see on the way, so that's something, I guess. Roman apparently had better things to do – _make-up classes, more like!_

Anyway Siegfried ferried us all there on one of the Schnee Company's _fleet _of private airships, and we got to the resort just a little past noon, whereupon we checked in. Us girls got to share the Princess suite, while Siegfried, Alexander, and Andreas all bundled off an exasperated Qrow rose to the – ehem – _'MANLY SUITE…' _ Once we all had our stuff unpacked in our rooms though, the next order of business was naturally to bundle up to hit the ski slopes. I was kinda worried that my cardigan wasn't going to be enough, but it wasn't _that _cold, and with the addition of one of Yin's _million _scarves that she let me borrow, I was nice and toasty. Emmy dress pretty light too, and Cinder didn't wear a coat at all – she _said _that she doesn't get cold – and Summer just wore a heavier cloak than she usually does. Yin though… I think she was wearing enough coats and scarves for all of us… she couldn't hold her arms down by her sides… she just sort of waddled… I'd have suggested that she maybe take a few layers off, but I couldn't… She was like a big yellow penguin… She would do Lord Fluffy the Terrible proud…

The ski slope was another thing entirely… Well, _I_ _say 'ski slope' _but I was the only one who could accurately be described as having _skied _down the mountain… Yin tried… Really, she did, but she kind of tripped and rolled the rest of the way in a giant snowball… Summer and Qrow used snowboards, but any semblance of normalcy ends there, I assure you… You know what _Emmy did? _Emmy brought Gungnir… and she used it to create her own avalanche – 'Y'know, cause it's AWESOME!' – and Cinder wanted to try out some death-trap she'd been working on – some kind of pyromancy-operated snowmobile (how does that even make _sense!?_). Still, as _ridiculous _as Cinder's new… 'toy' was, she had _nothing _on Schnee or the Arcs… Andreas had a Dust-powered snowmobile with a GIANT _DRILL _ON THE FRONT, Siegfried just went down on _Glyphs, _but the most ridiculous of them all was probably Alexander; he went down the mountainside _on a dog-sled, _pulled by _SIX TAMED BEOWOLVES! _YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDDING ME! Although I suppose we should be grateful that he didn't lug an _actual chariot _up their…

Oh, and I suppose that Yuko skied too, although in her case there were a lot of rumors and speculation around the pair of skies that were mysteriously went down the mountain by themselves… Which brings us to the snowball fight…

See, when Yuko skidded to a stop at the base of the slope, she _may have _accidentally sprayed Emmy with some powder snow… Ordinarily this wouldn't be a problem, but seeing as I'm the only one who can _see _her, and the person behind Yuko was Andreas Arc… and because it was _Emmy _who got snowed on, while I'm thinking of it- this chain of events led Emmy to turn around and challenge Andreas to a snowball fight, claiming that '_real men' _don't throw snowballs at an opponent while their back is turned '_like a coward…' _Now, if there's one thing that I've learned from all of this, it's that you _never, ever, UNDER __ANY CIRCUMSTANCES _impugn the manliness of the Arc brothers… They don't take it well…

At this insult, both brother's _AND _Siegfried joined forces aboard Alexander's Beowolf-drawn sleigh – now, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't _heavy cavalry _kind of overdoing it for a _snowball fight? _In response to this, Emmy swiftly press-ganged the rest of us onto her team – well, the rest of us except Yin, who was still stuck in the snowball she'd rolled down the mountain in – and you know what? We _STILL _lost!

Turns out you can't fire snowballs from Emmy's Railgun…

Still trying to coax Yin out of a few layers,

Glynda


	26. Entry 26: Pop Star on Vacation

**Author's Note: Okay all, here goes another entry! Now with one-hundred percent more fictional Pop stars/Heiresses! (Not that I've been expecting you to keep track or anything, **_**but this will be on the test!**_** Kidding… mostly…) Anyway, I do hope that you enjoy it, and hopefully this week goes smoothly enough for another four entries – fingers crossed! As always, I do appreciate favs, follows, and reviews whenever you feel so inclined, so please don't hesitate to comment. **

_Entry 26: Age 14_

* * *

Dear Diary,

And so winter break draws to an end, and I'm pleased to report that the rest of the trip to the ski lodge went smoothly; no problems, no shenanigans, no antics of any kind…

Yeah, who am I kidding?

Of course the ski lodge was an absolute _madhouse _with Emmy Valkyrie and the Arc brothers in attendance, and as if the three of them weren't bad enough, it turns out Siegfried Schnee is an absolute _lunatic too! _Seriously, is there something in that Schi-nee cola that they're always drinkin that screws with your mind or something? I mean, _come on! _What does a girl have to do to get a few hours of peace and quiet? Or I suppose more to the point – _how many people do I have to KILL? _Is it _really _all that much to ask for just a _little _peace so that I can curl up with Wizards of Romance and not be bothered by someone field-testing the _latest _method by which they intended to level the East Wing (_cough cough, Emmy…_) or squeezing their brains out because they bumped into their favorite pop star or something? I'm not kidding about that last one either – and it was Yin who did the squeezing by the way… I don't think I've ever seen her that excited before…

Apparently, Siegfried Schnee wasn't the only high-profile guest staying at the resort for the weekend, because in the dining room of the lodge on Saturday, we (and by _we _I mean _Yin_) bumped into (and I do mean _bumped _very literally) some blue-haired girl I'd never met, but I could've sworn she looked familiar… Turns out, she _did _look familiar, because her name's Chieri Sono, as in, the Heiress to some foreign conglomerate called the 'Zodiac Company' or something, and she sings in all the commercials for one of their subsidiaries, Sono Electronics… Yin, however, recognized her because this girl is _also _center-stage for AKB0048, her favorite pop group… Yin even has a little plushie keychain of her on a cell-phone strap attached to her scroll… Talk about fangirling out… Unfortunately, somewhere in the process of bumping into Miss Sono (although she's our age, so why I'm calling her Miss, I'm not quite sure – maybe it's cause she's rich – either way, writing in ink, so I can't erase it now…) and proceeding to squee herself silly, Yin accidentally spilled orange juice all over her… Not really the best first impression… Fortunately, Summer was there as well to patch things up on Yin's behalf, because after that Yin herself was too embarrassed and ashamed to speak to anyone, much less her favorite pop idol, and perhaps even _more importantly, _Cinder and I were there to stop Emmy from, and I quote "breaking her legs" in the event that Miss Sono _didn't _forgive her in pulp-free orange juice (although I don't suppose that it would have made much difference if there was pulp – what am I on about?). Thankfully though, it didn't come to that, and after Summer explained that the cute girl cowering behind the nearest decorative plant was probably her biggest fan, Chieri offered to sign all our scrolls! … Not that I care…

…She used a silver sharpie…

It's just a pity that Andreas Arc, Siegfried Schnee, and Alexander Arc (in no particular order) burst in from outside, each riding his vehicle of choice from the previous day's 'skiing' debacle. They were having a race… Well, as a result of their progress, food got splattered everywhere, and all over _us _as they passed through. Siegfried Schnee and the Brothers Arc… Three extremely good reasons why we need the 'Hot-Versus-Crazy" scale…

Surprisingly though, _the pop star _thought it was funny… Apparently where she's from _fun _used to be some kind of crime, so she loves that sort of thing…

Well at least she's only a crazy sympathizer, and not totally _nuts _herself.… Lot more grounded than I would have thought for a pop idol though… Hmm…

The whole mess coming as a result of the boy's little 'race' aside, I guess it was a pretty good day all told; I had a breakfast parfait, did some more skiing, had a parfait for lunch, had some spa time, had a parfait for dinner (shut up, I like parfaits, _OKAY!_) and we hung out with Chieri some more over some hot chocolate. Looking back on it, _I suppose _that it's just as well that Yuko stole my Wizards of Romance books again; I wouldn't have had time to read them anyway, and while she's reading, she's _not _causing trouble, like starting a snowball fight with the Arc Brothers or writing in my diary… So yeah, I guess it was a good time…

Totally _not _now on a quest to meet forty-seven other pop-stars,

Glynda

P.S. Yin has officially sworn off orange juice for life, by the way… More for me, I guess…


	27. Entry 27: Transfer Concert

**Author's Note: I bid you welcome, ladies and gentlemen, on this fine Tuesday (at time of posting anyway) to another entry of Glynda's diary! Those of you who care to enhance your experience with this chapter may be interested in pulling up the soundtrack of AKB0048 on Youtube in a different tab just for effect, but it isn't necessary… Couldn't get the opening theme out of my head while I was writing it though… Anyway, as always, I do hope that you enjoy, and do feel free to leave your feedback, as well as a fav or a follow if you are so inclined. Thank you for sparing me you valuable time, now please, enjoy! **

_Entry # 27: Age 14_

* * *

Dear Diary,

And so begins another school year…

This time, we're kicking off not only with the next class of students, but also with a bunch of transfer students… A _lot _of transfer students… forty-eight of them… and I thought Yin squeed when we met just one of them on vacation… So yeah, those new transfers… AKB0048… all of them… at once… Signal academy has officially been invaded by an army of candy-colored pop idols…Although as invaders go, we could certainly have done worse…

I was kinda confused at first – when the headmaster announced the transfer students, that is – because no one else was on the stage, but then all the lights went dark, and colorful spotlights came on and then in they came! They just poured in from the entrance, the windows, and back stage on these weird levi-stages and burst into song! No warning or anything! What's worse, I couldn't understand a word of it! I think maybe that it was all in the same language as that CD that Cinder choreographed our cheer routine to last year…

…It was kinda catchy though…Either way though, the Headmaster really didn't have to introduce them after that…

Setting aside for a moment the very interesting question of why an international pop group is enrolling en masse in a combat school for aspiring hunters and huntresses, I think that it's worth noting that they apparently came recommended to the academy by their promoter… Hell of a publicity stunt if you ask me, but they passed the initiation requirements so I guess it's legit… What is absolutely _not legit _is that Siegfried Schnee _also _transferred into Signal! He doesn't need to go here! He's like, _uber rich! _Don't they have expensive private schools for people like him? Although I suppose given the antics he gets up to with the Arc brothers, he might get thrown out of a place like that… Fits right in _here _though…

I just realized something: I'm surrounded by idiots…It's like Yin, Summer and I are the only sane people in the whole of Vale! And I'm not always sure about them, either… Oh well though; I suppose no real harm was done – if nothing else, I – _I mean we – _got a free concert out of the deal…

Shut up! I _am NOT a fan girl! _And I most _certainly DO NOT _find the idea of dancing on stage with Chieri Sono _AT ALL APPEALLING! _You must have me confused with Yin… and shut up _again! _I could totally pass for Yin now! If I took off my glasses… and wore color contacts… and maybe stuffed my bra just a _little… _Come on… one more growth spurt? _Pretty please? _What was I talking about? Oh yeah…

Surprisingly though, Yin didn't have the _biggest _flip-out over the news. _Emmy _wanted to challenge them all to a battle Royale to see what the 'lollipop army' was made of, but that's just how Emmy is… It's _Cinder _I'm worried about; She got a _really nasty _nosebleed before hurrying off – I hope to the nurse's office - after muttering something about 'too much moe…' Now, perhaps I don't properly understand this whole 'moe' concept, but from what I keep hearing from Cinder and Emmy's conversations, _moe _is not the stuff of which great huntresses are made… At least I don't think so… apparently it's a very complicated concept, or so Yuko told me when I asked her about it… Not sure I wanna take her word for it though…

My worries were unfounded though, I guess; apparently those microphones they have double as some kind of Dust-powered energy-swords, and those individual sized levi-stages that they fly around on are packed with enough ordinance to level the East wing… I know, they did it… It was one heck of a grand finale actually…

Now pondering the meaning of moe,

Glynda

P.S. I wonder if Chieri will sit with us at lunch!? Not that I care…


	28. Entry 28: Art, Dammit! ART!

**Author's Note: Hello one and all, and welcome as usual to another installment of Glynda's diary! You know the drill; Tsundere kid Goodwitch, shenanigans, obscure anime references, the works! I do hope that you enjoy, and please leave any feedback that you care too; I always appreciate it!**

_Entry # 28: Age 14_

* * *

Dear Diary,

I suppose that it's been a while since I last wrote… couple of weeks if I'm not mistaken… so uh… sorry for the neglect I guess… My only interesting class this semester is Tactical Field dynamics anyway…

Over the past few weeks I've sort of settled into a routine; got to school, head to classes, have lunch – I've even gotten those impromptu musical numbers Chieri & company keep pulling in the cafeteria, although where Cinder keeps getting those glow sticks, I'm still not sure – then I come home do homework, and re-read another chapter of Wizards of Romance… Really I suppose there's only one reason why I bothered writing about today was because it was particularly noteworthy…

STUPID YUKO WAS PLAYING STUPID CINDER'S STUPID PERVERTED STUPID GAMES WHEN WE WALKED INTO THE STUPID, _STUPID _CLUB ROOM!

Ehem…

Ordinarily, as irksome as Cinders dirty visual novels can be (and Wizards of Romance is _still TOTALLY DIFFERENT_) I suppose we've all gotten used to them 'playing themselves' when we walk into the club room… It's actually kind of strange how one can acclimate to pretty much anything with enough exposure – I mean, we got used to Miss Faust's insanity, that persistent tribble infestation the school's had since the Fall Festival (which was _totally NOT our fault!_), and _forty-eight international pop idols! _We've even started voluntarily sorting out disagreements through Rock-Paper-Scissors-Truth-Or-Dare-Twister! Next to all that, what's a few ostensibly self-playing smut-games, right?

…Don't think about that sentence too hard… I certainly didn't…

Trouble is, we don't usually walk in on a love scene in progress… and it's even _less _often that we do so with an outsider _insane enough _to consider joining our club… We don't even _do _anything for Dust's sake! Who would want to join the neighbor's brigade anyway? And the cyanide icing on the arsenic-laced cake? The _outsider _who came in with us was _Chieri Sono! _She heard we knew Siegfried Schnee, and she wanted to meet him for some reason… I don't know why – maybe that's what she was about to get to before we opened the door on _'manna transfer…' _Why in Dust's name do I know the technical term for _that? _At any rate, when she noticed _what exactly _was playing on the TV that we have set up in there, she got all red and said she'd come back later… She'll probably n ever come to our club room again, not that I blame her… and not that I _care, _but I was _this close _to being friends with a _pop star! _And Mom thinks I'm unsociable! Hmph…

Still… I hope Chieri doesn't think _I'm _a huge pervert now…

_**Oh Anton, please-**_

Damn it, shut up! That line is _completely _out of context!

**Really? Cause it just sounds like Brigit's getting' reamed in the woods to me… **

It's _Art, Dammit! ART! _

But as I was saying before I was so _rudely interrupted, _she wanted to meet Siegfried Schnee… What a nice, talented girl wants with a lunatic like him or the Arc brothers is beyond me, but she did, so now I'm curious. I've decided: I will find out why, even if I have to tail her to do it! I mean, what better way is there for me to prove to her how wonderfully nice a person I am – and totally _not _a pervert – than by following her around wherever she goes to make sure that nobody tries to be a creeper and…

You know what, I'm just going to _ignore _the irony…

Currently searching for a better rationalization for stalking my favorite pop star,

Glynda

P.S. Really it's more like monitoring – it's just concerned surveillance is all!


	29. Entry 29: Madhouse

**Author's Note: Hello again one and all; especially those of you who like to read a pretentious teenaged Glynda ranting about her problems! Once again I have more! Do feel free to leave any feedback; it helps keep up my motivation, and I always appreciate suggestions that help me improve. **

_Entry # 29: Age 14_

* * *

Dear Diary,

Over the course of the last almost year and a half during which I have given my sincerest effort to the pursuit of becoming the Remnant's best huntress _ever_, something has only recently occurred to me – and I really feel like I should have taken note of it sooner – that _something _being the following: SIGNAL ACADAMY IS AN UTTER _MADHOUSE! _

I mean, it _is _a school to train highly capable fighters - _I get that- _and as such I further suppose that a little chaos here and there is only to be expected, but _nothing _accounts for the sheer _ridiculousness _of the last few months _alone!_ I swear, _most _of the teachers belong in the nuthouse for one reason or another – Miss Faust was the prime example until recently, but almost all of the instructors are their own special flavor of _completely out of their MINDS! _I mean, Alexander Arc charges all over the campus in a _freaking chariot _on a daily basis and no one on the staff so much as bats and eye! What does it take for these people to draw the line? Clearly it isn't destruction of property – I mean Emmy and Cinder leveled the East Wing _AGAIN _in a dance battle with some of the AKB girls… what does that make, _six times? _Or was it Seven? Happens so ridiculously often that I've lost count… Although half the grounds-keeping staff _did _quit this time…

It was all for nothing anyway; they did okay, but Chieri and her partner totally kicked their butts…

Of course the faculty are only part of the issue; most of the students, as I've said before, _are also totally mad… _I mean, I love my friends and all, but most of them are _absolutely crazy! _There's Cinder with her collection of dirty games and always – _always _– having burritos for lunch, Emmy's fixation with sloths – I heard her talking about creating some-kind of _sloth-powered _rocket-launcher this afternoon (_WHAT?_), and then there's the Arc brothers, who's lunacy frankly speaks for itself… For every shy little Yin (well not _little _little, but you get the point) or sensible Summer, there's a half a dozen Andreas Arcs or twenty-four colorful pop stars… oh well… at least there's only _one _ghost… I don't think that I could handle being haunted by two Yukos… One is quite enough, thank you very much… Still I suppose it could be worse; I could be Roman Torchwick…. Vale's most chronically rejected aspiring playboy… Cinder told me that he's asked out and subsequently been shot down by her, Yin, Summer, Emmy, and _every single member of AKB0048… _

I'd almost feel sorry for him… If he wasn't such a cocky weasel… And who wears bowler hats anyway?

I just kinda needed to vent a little, I guess… finals are coming up again and I'm a little stressed out; in all seriousness I do love my friends (craziness and all, no matter how much they frustrate me from time to time), and going to school with my – _I mean Yin's _– favorite pop stars is really cool, and even being _haunted _is starting to grow on me if I'm totally honest; there's really something to be said for _never _having to be alone (even _if _your constant companion is an invisible ditz with more boobs tan brains)… Stupid stupidly huge chest…

Measuring my blessings against my burdens,

Glynda

P.S. And shut up! I am _not _jealous!


	30. Entry 30: Tactical Field Dynamics

**Author's Note: Welcome back ladies, gentlemen, and others, to the final instalment of Glynda's diary (for this week, of course). Before we begin though, I would once more like to extend the invitation to any of you who care to leave prompts or ideas for entries that you'd like to see; just figured I'd throw that out there again… Anyway, do enjoy, and I would be extremely appreciative if you should so decide to fav, follow, or reviews this fun (well, **_**I **_**think it's fun, but then I'm biased) little bundle of cheap laughs. Thanks for reading!**

_Entry # 30: Age 14_

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Dear Diary,

I think as this semester ends, the class that I'm going to miss most is probably Tactical Field Dynamics. I mean really, it's probably the one course here that most completely embodies what being a Huntress is all about; it's all about learning to operate as a cohesive unit to maximize all the individual group members effectiveness on the team in a combat situation – It's all about teamwork! Now, now, I know what you're probably thinking,_ 'Glynda?_ Like _teamwork? Ha!' _but shut up! I am _all about getting the job done as efficiently as POSSIBLE! _Therefore my enjoyment of this particular class is _ABSOLUTELY NOT_ because other tan Yin, Cinder, and I, the whole class is full of adorable pop idols who are at their most powerful when performing 'guerrilla concerts,' and thus inevitably launch into catchy musical numbers at every class session…

…Although it's certainly convenient that that was the case…

I mean sure… I _MIGHT _have taken advantage of the opportunity to watch one or two… _maybe three _free concerts, and _maybe _I went a little nuts with those glow-sticks _once or twice_… But Yin and Cinder were _way worse! _Cinder keeps getting nosebleeds, for one thing (she actually had to go to the nurse's office for _anemia _last week! _Anemia!_) and whenever she's not, she's muttering something under her breath about 'moe' or wondering if any of them qualify as a 'tsundere…' No comment…

Of course, Yin was even less focused on the actual substance of the class than _Cinder… _You'd think that spending a whole semester with her favorite pop stars might dull the charm a bit, but nope… If there's one thing I can say about Yin Xiao Long, it's that she's certainly… _passionate _about her obse- I _mean hobbies…_ It's like clockwork! Every time we walk into class, her eyes light up and she gets all excited… I swear she actually _sparkles! _How does that even _happen?_ If only she could get over her crippling shyness…

It wasn't all sunshine and squees though… Cinder made the mistake of pointing out that she didn't think that 'Nagisa-chan' was as good a dancer as the others… and Yin got _very upset… _That's not to say that she got violent though – that would be simply _barbaric – _I mean, Yin, getting violent just because she's _angry? Ridiculous! _She did get angry though… and started to cry… and by the time she was finished whimpering about how Cinder shouldn't be so mean, and how "Nagisa-chan is just _new, _that's all!" Cinder was begging for Yin's forgiveness and promising that she'd never be mean to Nagisa-chan again…

As for me, well… I'd say Cinder deserved it… I mean, it's like a part of your soul dies when you watch Yin cry… It's heartbreaking… and _so completely ridiculously adorable! _But mostly really sad… She's like an adorable teddy bear, and you just want to hug and cuddle her until all her worries go away and she looks up at you with those tear-stained lavender eyes and-

Ehem…

_What? _Yin is positively _adorable! _I'm not the only one who thinks so… It's not my fault… Really she defies all logic; with a figure like _that _Yin you'd think 'hot' would be a better adjective, but no, 'cute' really is the better word, although perhaps that 'moe' term that Cinder and Emmy keep throwing around does her better justice; I really wouldn't know… I stopped watching _cartoons _when I was _twelve! _

Wondering how one person can be _that _cute,

Glynda

P.S. I am straight as a board, so don't get any perverted ideas, pervert!


	31. Entry 31: Penguin Cosplay

**Author's Note: Happy Birthday to Glynda! Again... This time with 400% more Penguins! Woot! Yeah... okay, I'll ... I'll stop now... Anyway, please do enjoy, and let me know what you think. **

_Entry # 31: Age 15_

* * *

Dear Diary,

So I didn't have a sleepover for my birthday this year, but it was fun anyway – and a lot more people came to this one… Siegfried and the Arc Brothers as a start. Cinder also dragged that Torchwick boy along too, which was fine I guess. Oh, and of course Yuko was there… and I suppose it was _kind of funny _to watch all my friends react to the slice of cake that appeared to be eating itself… Cinder almost caught on too; she wanted to perform some kind of séance or something, but we didn't have enough ritual candles… What makes 'ritual candles' special, I have no idea, but meh…

Anyway, my _dad _kinda went nuts with the whole planning thing this time around… apparently he's always wanted to throw me a real birthday party, and since I have more _friends _this year, he kinda went overboard… Let's see, giant balloons – all of which with _my face on them, _plushie replicas of all my friends as party favors… They were uh… surprisingly accurate… right down to Alexander's abs - Not that I checked – and to top it all off? A _giant _birthday cake shaped like a life-sized _Emperor Penguin! _

It _was _delicious…

So anyway, after all of my guests arrived, and were all served slices of penguin-cake served on _plates with my face on them, _and we beat the living hell out of an Ursa-shaped piñata (that was Emmy's favorite part, by the way – and after we got all the candy out, Cinder _burned it _for good measure…) it was time for gifts. To be honest, getting birthday presents from your friends at the age of _fifteen, _but they all insisted so… I suppose I can't complain… Although I think Emmy and Cinder were competing over who could get me the best gift; Emmy got me another giant stuffed Emperor Penguin – I've decided to call this one _Lady Fluffy the Terrible – _while _Cinder _got me _three _smaller stuffed penguins – _Lord Fluffy II, III, and IV, _respectively, for your information, so that you may show the proper respect – and I honestly can't decide who's gift I like more… THY'RE ALL SO CUTE!

Ehem… Glynda Goodwitch _does not squee…_

As for Siegfried, and the Arc brothers… their gifts were kinda weird… _Andreas _got me a pair of those weird sunglasses he wears and a copy of some self-help book called "WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM!?: The _Real Man's _guide to utter _Manliness!" _Setting aside the fact that I am _not _a _man _– real or otherwise – I _did _flip through it for a bit just out of curiosity, and from what I did read, it's pretty clear to me that the author – whoever he is – is an _idiot; _The philosophy in those pages seems like a _really good way to get yourself killed by episode eight or something… _You know, if life were one of Cinder and Emmy's _ridiculous cartoons… _that I don't watch… ever… Moving on….

_Alexander Arc _got me my very own chariot –well, he got Lord Fluffy the Terrible _his _very own chariot – it was a little small to fit a person past the age of _five, _but it was cute… As was Siegfried's gift – direct from the Schnee Plushie Emporium – of a suit of samurai armor for Lord Fluffy the terrible, and a Kimono for his charming lady… Apparently the two of them were in cahoots with Emmy about their gifts – as was Summer, who got a top hat, a cowboy hat, and a _tri-cornered hat _for the smaller ones that Cinder got me, and Yin got five little scarves for the lot of them… _So adorable… _

Even Yuko got me a present! Sort of… How many teenaged girls get birthday presents from ghosts? Anyway, I say _'sort of' _because what she wound up giving me was a slip of paper with 'This certificate entitles you to one free haunting against a person of your choice' scribbled on it… At least her heart was in the right place I guess… That was certainly better than Roman's gift though. He got me a _bowler hat. _Who, besides _him _I suppose, even _weirs those?_ But that wasn't the worst part; _inside _the bowler hat was taped a voucher for Wizards of Romance Volume 8: The Secret of the Succubus, coming out over the summer… I don't know whether to kiss him or _strangle him! HOW DOES HE KNOW DAMMIT? NO ONE MUST KNOW! _

Fortunately, I kept my cool and no one else saw it but I was forced to wear that _stupid bowler hat _just to make sure… I am _not _some stupid _troll's _stupid _dress-up doll STUPID! _Dressing up stuffed Penguins on the other hand, _totally fine… _

Seething with impotent rage,

Glynda

P.S. There is nothing weird about penguin-cosplay!


	32. Entry 32: Pancake Land

**Author's Note: Hello all and welcome to another installment of Glynda's diary! I hope you've had breakfast already though, otherwise you might find yourself craving pancakes after this… maybe… Anyway, I do always love feedback, so any opinion that you care to share is always appreciated; enjoy!**

**Pancake Land comes courtesy of ElfCollaborator's Weiss Reacts! which you should totally go read if you haven't already; it's hilarious. **

_Entry # 32: Age 15_

* * *

Dear Diary,

So today, we went on a quest… At least that's what Emmy called it… 'A glorious quest to the center of the promised land!' were her _exact _words, actually, and she roped Alexander into driving us in his chariot by telling him we'd conquer the place… All told, our 'questing party' consisted of Emmy Valkyrie, Alexander Arc, Cinder Fall, and me… I for one only came along because I needed a ride into town to discreetly pick up a certain Volume 8 at the bookstore, but I only got to do that after the day's chaos had ensued… and chaos there certainly was in abundance…

Emmy Valkyrie is _crazy – _as in even more _off-the-wall INSANE than usual – _about _pancakes…_

So yeah, If you haven't figured it out yet, our 'quest' was to charge into and 'conquer' Pancake Land, that big department store in downtown Vale dedicated _exclusively _to the sale of pancakes, pancake supplies, and pancake paraphernalia… I have never _seen _so many pancakes in my _life… _And Emmy's goal in dragging all of us out there for her little breakfast crusade? She wanted to _hijack the store's kitchens _in order to cook 'THE WORLD'S BIGGEST PANCAKE!' Her words, not mine… Oh, and there was no shortage of evil laughter… Seriously, sometimes that girl scares me…

Of course, like the perfectly _rational _people that they are, the pancake-mega-emporium's security staff took exception to this plan. In response to their polite and reasonable requests that we either buy something or leave, rather than agree like a _sane person, _you know what Emmy did? She kicked over _three kegs of MAPLE SYRUP _to make them slip and had Alexander charge us deeper into the store in search of 'The pancake to end all pancakes…' What we got was the food fight to end all food fights… Do you have _any idea _how much maple syrup that you can get everywhere using a _Railgun?_

Of course, maple syrup was only the beginning; Alexander hacked open the flour silos as we rode past – "to cover our tracks!" – and when we were nearly surrounded once in the eggs department, Cinder buried the security personnel in a huge mound of fried eggs… I'm gonna have nightmares about that for weeks – and I'll never look at eggs over easy the same way again…They're like lifeless eyes staring back at me on the plate… and the screams… Fortunately, no one was seriously hurt during the incident, but I heard on the news that it took eighteen hours to get them all out from under the all the eggs…

We almost spun out in the butter isle though… no traction I guess… Probably wasn't a good idea on Emmy's part to destroy the chilled cases and get butter everywhere – I mean, _in theory, _it should have worked like the maple syrup – but she smashed the cases ahead of us with her Railgun too… Incidentally, it was right around then that I really started to think that I should have stayed home today, but hindsight's twenty-twenty, I guess…

Finally though we did reach the center of the store, and surprisingly it was indeed home to a _preposterously monstrous _griddle and a giant mixing bowel to match… Modern art… ridiculous… While I was busy _gaping _at the obscenely large kitchen-ware though, Emmy and Cinder got right to it, filling the mixing bowl with all the ingredients – I lost count after _ten-thousand eggs – _and Cinder used fire dust to heat up the enormous cast-iron pan… By the time more security caught up with us, it was too late; Emmy had succeeded in making the pancake of her dreams – damn near the size of a house – and had declared herself queen of Pancake Land…

Why are my friends all crazy?

Officially banned from setting foot in Pancake Land ever again,

Glynda

P.S. I never did get to the bookstore… I had to go home and take a shower to get all that stupid maple syrup off of me! Dammit Emmy!


	33. Entry 33: More Date Creeping

**Author's Note: Time for more date-stalking! And it's a real date this time! No date-crepe though… I'm saving that for later… Anyway, I hope that you enjoy, and as always I do enjoy feedback. **

_Entry # 33: Age 15_

* * *

Dear Diary,

I can't believe I let Emmy and Cinder talk me into doing that _again! _I mean, you'd think after the whole Pancake Land debacle I might have learned my lesson, but nope, stupid, _trusting _me let herself (er, _myself_) get roped into another harebrained scheme! Note to self: next time that Emmy Valkyrie approaches you _for any reason _with the words "Wanna do something _fun?_" smack some sense into yourself and run like Hell! Especially if she gets that weird look in her eye… Although, I suppose in this case it wasn't _that bad_… Not worth taking a risk on what she cooks up next time though. In all honesty, this particular scheme was kind of a disappointment actually, and it wasn't even very original; we just went date creeping – _again. _It wasn't on Summer and Alexander this time though – that was kind of a one-time thing – No, this time, we date-_stalked _Siegfried Schnee and – get this – _Chieri Sono! _

Turns out, the two of them are actually _freaking ENGAGED! _What the actual Hell! From what I could make out through Emmy's listening devices (creepy, I know, but at least she came prepared this time) it's an arranged marriage set for after the both finish with school, and that was why Chieri wanted to Meet Siegfried at the Neighbor's Brigade a while ago… I guess their parents thought that it would be a good idea to combine the resources of the Schnee Dust Company and the Zodiac Company overseas, and while that may be a sound business move (although I don't know, I'm not going to business school after all) who does that sort of thing through _marriage pact _anymore? And don't get me wrong, I _respect _Chieri (still not a fan girl dammit!) and Siegfried's… _fun, _I guess… but placing the world's two largest mega-corporations in the hands of a pop star and a _man-child _doesn't seem like a terribly bright business move (but again, I suppose I wouldn't know…) but I digress…

Cheri's too pretty for him anyway… but I _suppose _that's off-subject…

Anyway, first, we followed them when they went to lunch a an even fancier restaurant than the one Alexander to Summer to – incidentally, I think _fifty Lien for a summer salad _is a bit much – and after they finished, we followed them – by which I mean Cinder and Emmy followed them, dragging me along with all the subtlety of an angry boarbatusk – to their next destination, the Vale Aquarium… Not exactly a prime dates spot – at least I wouldn't have thought so. Getting _stared at _by submerged monstrosities with beady little eyes and _very sharp teeth _isn't exactly my idea of a romantic outing…

At least there were penguins…

Surprisingly though, I think Chieri really enjoyed it… I say '_I think' _because I had to fight Cinder and Emmy for the few seconds I was able to use the binoculars, but eh… All I know is that Chieri had her face practically plastered to the shark tank the whole time, with a positively _adorable – _almost _Yin adorable – _wide-eyed smile on her face…. Siegfried, for his part, was surprisingly gentleman-like – at least while I could see him – and I have to admit, now that I've thought about it… they are kinda cute together – well, _she's cute, _and Siegfried didn't screw it up, so there's that. I suppose as arranged marriages go, they could've done worse – Oh my Dust! If they have a daughter she'll have so many moe points it'll be _ridiculous! _Let's see, quirky parents, embarrassing dad, sheltered rich girl – she'd be so freaking _adorable-_

At least that's what Cinder says…

Totally _NOT _shipping personal acquaintances,

Glynda

P.S. I don't care what Emmy says, I _did NOT squee _at the penguin enclosure!


	34. Entry 34: Dress-Up

**Author's Note: And so the summer continues with this, the latest installment of Glynda's Diary! This time with 100% more cosplay! As always, I do appreciate feedback, but for now, I'll get out of the way and let you get to reading this atypically long chapter (well, atypically long for this story anyway…).**

_Entry # 34: Age 15_

* * *

Dear Diary,

And so passes another day of my increasingly _irritating _summer vacation…

Perhaps some elaboration is in order; you see, even though school is technically out until September, Cinder _insists _that the Neighbor's brigade meet on a daily basis in the club room, where every day, either she, Emmy, Alexander or Siegfried have some new harebrained scheme waiting to tax my patience and make poor Yin blush… I mean, Pancake Land, Vale aquarium, the Schnee Plushie Emporium – to name just a few recent examples – I mean, there's only so many places you can get thrown out of before word starts to get around…

Well, _this time _when I opened up the door to the Neighbor's Brigade club room, I was greeted with the sight of Cinder trying to fit Yin into a penguin suit…

Needless to say, I shut the door and walked away slowly… Too slowly, as it turns out… Before I could make a discreet escape, I was _ambushed! _Emmy blocked my path in the hall with that 'I'm up to no good' look on her face, so, I took the logical course of action…

I ran like hell…

Now, say what you like about Emmy's Railgun – thank you, I _will: _IT'S A GROSSLY OVERPOWERED MONSTROSITY! - but it doesn't have a terribly fast rate of fire, so to escape, all I had to do was duck out of the way to let the first shot level the East Wing (again) and bolt down a side corridor leading _anywhere else _and I was home-free while she reloaded… Or rather, I _would have been, _if stupid Alexander hadn't charged up behind me on his stupid chariot and lugged me back to the club room – Seriously! He slung me over his shoulder like sack of potatoes! I tried shouting at first, then kicking and slamming on his back with my fists, but none of that worked, so about halfway back to the clubroom I just stared at the hallway as it receded behind us…

There wasn't much else to look at – Alexander's stupid cloak was in the way…

When we got back to the club room, Alexander set me down and assured me that the was nothing to be scared of… apparently they were working on some way to, and I quote, "Bloodlessly conquer the hearts and minds of the people," whatever that means… I wonder about that actually, for a total of five seconds, which was when the door to the club room opened and I was presented with Yin Xiao long, _wearing a penguin suit – _and I don't mean a tuxedo, I mean an actual suit that looks like a _penguin – _with a large stuffed penguin in her arm – er, _flippers – _and a small penguin plushie balanced on her head…

Glynda Goodwitch _does not squee… _

After about five minutes of staring and restraining myself from glompingg the adorably huggable Yin (I don't care what anybody says, _I do have restraint!_) I glanced over at Cinder for an explanation… to se _her _dressed as a _bunny girl…_ Apparently she was going to ask some girl named Scarletina from our Applied Dust Theory class to do it, but she was busy… Cinder then proclaimed it to be _Cosplay Day… _Yay… Of course, when I asked her (sarcastically, let me be perfectly clear) if she'd had Summer dress in a maid outfit while she was at it, she laughed at me like _I _was the idiot! 'We already did the _maid _thing last fall at the Festival!' she said, 'Don't be silly Glynda,' she said, well _excuse me _if I find this whole idea more than a bit _odd! _For what it's worth, Summer _wasn't _dressed as a maid…

… She was dressed as a _butler _instead; like _cross-dressing _makes it _LESS WEIRD!_

When I asked why Alexander and Roman weren't dressed up, Roman shuffled in… wearing a nurse's outfit… You know, there are some things that you just can't _unsee… _Cinder just laughed and shrugged it off saying that it came with the bunny-girl costume… I thought for a moment to suggest that maybe she should have put _Roman _in the Penguin suit, but that would have meant either Summer or Yin would have had to wear the nurse's outfit… And Yin's _just too cute in the penguin costume! _Plus, I like to think of keeping my mouth shut on that particular subject as revenge on Roman for whatever invasion of privacy by which he learned that I read Wizards of Romance… I got the 'what, are you stupid?' look again though when I asked about Alexander's lack of costume, whereupon Emmy, who had just entered the room dressed as a policewoman – they were having a three-for-one sale at the Schnee Costume Emporium, so it seems – and announced that Alexander was _obviously _dressed as Iskander, King of Conquerors… Upon closer inspection, I _suppose _that he _was _wearing slightly different bracers than usual… but that's about all the change _I _noticed… Can't say it was an inappropriate choice though…

Now apparently, it was my turn… I thought about bolting out the door, but Alexander was standing in front of it, and for an instant, I even considered the window, but self-inflicted defenestration from four stories isn't exactly good for the spine, so I gave up… You know what they had me wear? A Magical Girl outfit. You know, I've been embarrassed plenty of times in my life, but _that_ was a new one. They even made me do stupid poses when it was my turn for pictures… I suppose I _could have _said no, but that wouldn't have been very sporting – and besides, if I didn't agree, Cinder, Emmy, _and Yuko _would never stop bugging me about it, so I decided to prove once and for all that Glynda Goodwitch _is not _a stick in the mud! It was for the sake of my _PRIDE DAMMIT! _It was _totally NOT _because I've wanted to be a Magical Girl since I was five! Which I _HAVEN'T! _

Absolutely not some cosplaying weirdo,

Glynda

P.S. Magical Girl Glitter Glynda-Chan go! Ehem… Yuko dared me to write that…


	35. Entry 35: FateGlynda

**Author's Note: Hello again, and welcome to this, the thirty-fifth installment of the Diary of Glynda Goodwitch! This one's gonna be a tad on the longer side, and contains 100% more arcane summoning rituals and fantastic beards! On a related note, many of you have probably noticed previously that I use actual franchises and whatnot (all of which belong to their respective owners, by the way) from time to time; this is all of course in the name of cheap laughs, and because this story is essentially a fanfic of a fanfic (that fanfic being Weiss Reacts, for any of you who may not have and really should read that) I can get away with that sort of tomfoolery. And because I'm lazy. At any rate, I do hope that you enjoy, and please, feel free to leave feedback. Bitte schön und danke schön?**

_Entry # 35: Age 15_

* * *

Dear Diary,

I don't think that I drew the summoning circle quite right… Or maybe I got the incantation wrong..?

_Today's _Neighbor's brigade activity, you see, was to start a Holy Grail War… Yeah, I thought Emmy was nuts too…I don't even know where to begin in listing the problems with this plan! I suppose that 'it came from Emmy Valkyrie' is a logical starting point, but _that _is only the beginning, because _secondly_, and do correct me if _I'm wrong, _but isn't the point of a Holy Grail War to _kill _each other? Granted, the thought _has _crossed my mind on more than one occasion (usually when the greater good of Vale would seem to require an end to Emmy's harebrained schemes) but I never _act _on it – doing so wouldn't exactly be a good 'friendship' activity… Thirdly – and I am fairly certain that I am _not _mistaken on this one – Fate/Stay Night is an erogame… So it should go without saying that… Ehem… _reenactment _of it would not exactly turn out PG… I mean, you don't see me going out and cosplaying Wizards of Romance, _right? _-(Still not porn, by the way) – I don't have a translucent silk bathrobe anyway – er… not that I cosplay _AT ALL! _

So yeah, I think I've made my point that this was a bad idea, but does anyone ever listen to _me? _No. Of course not. And that's a real shame too, because if people _did _listen to me, then we wouldn't be banned for life from Pancake land, _would we, Emily Valkyrie!? _Anyway, as surely you've guessed, I made my position quite clear from the start – i.e., that I wanted no part of it – and surprisingly, Emmy was alright with that… Cinder looked disappointed though… Of course, I should have known better when she handed me a diagram and asked me to draw seven summoning circles while she and the other's went to go find 'relics'… Let's see… Emmy, Cinder, Yin, Summer, Alexander, Roman… Yep… just six other members in the Neighbor's brigade…

Well, Emmy & co. returned with a pair of snakeskin boots (apparently Emmy wanted a King Taiju Skin, but couldn't schedule a trip out to the Emerald Forest), a meat cleaver, some weird knick-knack that looked like a black glass acorn pulsating with raw malevolence (I don't mean to be a stickler, but wouldn't a _normal acorn _done just fine?), _and… _wait for it… _A sardine… _No comment… Cinder took the meat cleaver – oh sorry, I meant _Deus Ex Gasai _(yes, the one from the play fiasco) – Emmy used the boots, and summer volunteered for the acorn because Yin was too scared to touch it, and frankly, I don't blame her… Of course, that still left Yin and Alexander short relics – or so I thought; _Apparently _it had been decided that Alexander would use _his beard _as mediation for the summoning ritual, and as for Yin, well, Cinder let Yin use her copy of the visual novel that inspired this mess… Whoever heard of summoning an epic spirit _with a CD?_ No problems with Alexander's beard though… it's certainly epic enough…

Since we then had seven 'mages' and seven summoning circles present in the room, Emmy then saw fit to lock us – and by 'us' I mean _me, _as I am apparently the only one with enough sanity to think that this was a _bad idea –_ in, and begun the summoning ceremonies… Now, I didn't participate – I made a point _not to – _and didn't utter any of Emmy's mumbo-jumbo about 'being all the good in the world' (although it was cute when Yin stammered it out) or a 'guardian of scales' but that apparently didn't matter to the summoning circle, and nor indeed did the fact that I had no relic – or at least I _thought that I didn't…_By the time the rituals were over we all had 'familiars'…

Now, I don't know _how _they pulled it off with a CD and a pair of boots respectively, but Yin and Emmy actually pulled it off, because there before them stood Arturia Pendragon and Gilgamesh – AKA the world's shiniest douchebag (don't tell mom I said that, by the way) – A-at least I think that's who they were – I haven't actually… um… Moving on… Alexander summoned… _himself… _It was weird, looking at two of them… they even _sound _alike… and hehe… Dem abs… Ehem… Two Alexander – or rather, one Alexander and one "ISKANDER, KING OF CONQUERORS!" meant twice as much going on and on about conquest, but what can you do?

The rest of us… weren't so lucky. Cinder's meat clever just summoned some schoolgirl with crazy eyes – her parents must be worried sick – and Summer's evil acorn brought us a surprisingly fluffy cat-ferret-bunny _thing…_It was really cute… at least until it said something about a 'contract' at which point Saber, Archer, Alexander, Iskander, Emmy, Cinder and even the schoolgirl Cinder summoned abruptly turned on it and stabbed, ran it down in chariots, impaled it with priceless historical treasures, railgunned, incinerated, and Excalibured it out of existence again (in no particular order)… Summer was really upset but all involved in what cinder called operation Q-Beta Alpha Strike seemed satisfied that they'd made the right decision… And Summer got over it when Saber let her hold Excalibur…

As for me, well… apparently the summoning circle mistook Yuko's bell on my bracelet as an artifact… So now everybody can see her if she wants them to… Great… Do you have ANY IDEA how hard it is to explain to your _mother _why there's a _stupidly attractive _girl she's never met walking out of your shower at three AM and climbing into bed with you 'because she got _LONELY!?' _I almost wish that I'd gotten yelled at for it too; as it is, having my mother give me _her blessing _just makes it WORSE! Still, I suppose that I did better than Roman; all he managed to summon was a Mr. Potato-Head with his bowler hat…

Wondering how to kick a semi-corporeal ghost/familiar(?) out of my bed,

Glynda

P.S. I don't like to share my penguin-harem…


	36. Entry 36: Meet Yuko, Again

**Author's Note: And here goes another one! This time you can expect more costumes, shenanigans, and denial, courtesy of Moe Glynda and her friends! Do enjoy, and don't hesitate to tell me what you think of this crap; I like to improve, and it's always gratifying to know that there are others out there that love their cheap laughs. **

_Entry # 36: Age 15_

* * *

Dear Diary,

Do you have any idea how hard it is to get rid of magical familiars? Silly me, I thought we could get rid of them as easily – relatively speaking, of course – as we'd summoned them, _but no, _nothing is ever quite that easy, is it? Took us most of the week to persuade Saber that there wasn't _actually _gonna be a Holy Grail war (We had to keep Emmy quiet with a stack of pancakes, but what can you do?) and Iskander wouldn't leave until he and Alexander reached an understanding that Alexander would conquer Vale and that he could conquer… wherever it is he came from… before the two of them would finally duke it out… I suppose Kyubey was the easiest to get rid of… I mean, I just needed a dustpan once everyone was through with him… Then again, Cinder's mad schoolgirl kinda walked out on us when she couldn't find… Yuki-kun? I don't know; one less thing for me to worry about I guess, and we just let Roman take his Mr. Potato head home… Which left us with one very visible ghost… Which I suppose wouldn't have bothered me so much as long as she kept her mouth shut, but _no, _she had to _introduce herself… _And what's worse, she told the truth…

'Hi, I'm Yuko, and I'm a ghost haunting Glynda-chan,' pretty much sums it up. Yin fainted, and Cinder got a bloody nose… again… You know, I didn't want to believe it, but I think I have to accept in now: Cinder Fall is a massive pervert. You wanna know how I know? Because the instant she recovered from her spontaneous hemorrhaging, she suggested we should get to know 'Glynda's special friend.' Yuko _is NOT _my 'special friend,' or my _girlfriend, lover, plaything or CONCUBINE DAMMIT! _

She's just an implausibly attractive ditz who sleeps in my bed… Okay that came out wrong… The point _is, _Cinder had the completely wrong idea! And Yuko certainly didn't help… Having her glomp me to the floor mid-sentence while I'm trying to explain that she follows me around because I have her bell isn't exactly helping my case! At least she still _can _be invisible if she wants to… Though I can't let her talk to Emmy too much, otherwise she might convince Yuko to abuse the privilege… Too bad the stupid command seal only works three times… And get you mind out of the gutter! I only plan to use them if Yuko gets especially annoying! I totally _would not _use it to make her dress like a penguin!

Yin looks cuter in the penguin costume anyway…

Indeed, _I _would never do anything so perverted as to make a friend (and I _guess _she is a friend at this point – I'm stuck with her, so I may as well make the best of it _right?_) dress in weird costumes, but the same cannot be said for Emmy and Cinder… They had her go through Cinder's _entire costume rack!_ The started with the Penguin suit, then the butler gettup, Emmy's Sloth costume and so one and so forth until they got her into some weird angler-fish costume that I didn't even know Cinder had. Whereupon they made her do this _positively ridiculous dance!_ At least Yuko was enjoying herself… I was embarrassed _for her _though…

Still, bad as _that was, _it was nothing compared to what happened next. Cinder asked her how long we'd been in our _relationship! _WE DO NOT HAVE A RELATIONSHIP! It's more like a _predicament Dust Dammit! _Anyway, Yuko's stupid, stupid answer to that stupid, _stupid _question inevitably triggered Emmy to ask what we were planning for our _anniversary! _NOTHING! I HAVE NOTHING PLANNED BECAUSE WE DON'T HAVE AN ANIVERSARRY! Of course at that point, Summer wouldn't stop laughing at me Cinder shot me the _dirtiest _look I've ever seen, launching into this big overblown lecture about how I _obviously _didn't appreciate Yuko enough and how I should treat such a pretty girl nicer and make her feel special, all of which is irrelevant BECAUSE I'M NOT IN A HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIP WITH A GHOST!

At least they didn't think to ask her about my hobbies…

Really hoping this blows over like everything else,

Glynda

P.S. I think Cinder was just jealous anyway…


	37. Entry 37: Beach Paranoia

**Author's Note: Yay for beach episodes everybody! For today's entry, I have attempted to re-work the typical anime beach episode with a more self-aware protagonist; hopefully it's funny, but you'll have to be the judge. Still, I hope that you enjoy the clichés in the name of comedy. **

_Entry # 37: Age 15_

* * *

Dear Diary,

They say every man has his price… well I guess it's true of teenage girls too… I _know _that I shouldn't have let them talk me into it, but I did, and I'm already regretting it… What was my price, you ask? Well I'm actually ashamed to admit that I was so weak; all it took was a mini-penguin plushie that I could hang on my scroll to coax me onto this _absurd beach trip! _

Stupid adorable penguins…

Ostensibly this whole thing was orchestrated to celebrate Neighbor's brigade's one-year anniversary, and to induct Yuko as a new member (which I'll admit is a minor miracle, seeing as nobody in their right mind has wanted anything to do with us since this ridiculous excuse for a club got started), but there were just a few problems with that rationalization: one, Yuk isn't new, she's been here the whole time, two, Siegfried and Chieri came along, and they're not even technically members, and three, Chieri brought all of her friends (by which I mean the rest of AKB0048), none of whom are members either.. So yeah, by the time we actually got the show on the road, Siegfried had to charter _a bus _and a friendly little beach outing turned into an impromptu beach concert… Not that I'm complaining about that part… I mean, free concert, right?

After I agreed to go though, I was actually foolish enough to be excited at first – I mean, I _finally _get to wear that swimsuit Cinder got me for my birthday _two years ago – _although on second thought, that probably should have been a red flag… It was cute though, and I was so unbelievably proud that I could fill that out – I mean, nobody's actually called me flat-chested in a while, but still… I AM GLYNDA GOODWITCH, I AM GORGEWOUS AND I AM PROUD OF IT!

Ehem…

Anyway, when we actually got there though, it got really uncomfortable really fast… It's like everyone was staring at me… I mean sure, I'm totally worth looking at – like I said, _gorgeous – _but it didn't take long for me to start wishing that I had gone with a one-piece instead… I didn't catch anyone _actually staring at me, _but I know they were; I'm surrounded by perverts, after all! Of course they were looking! Perverts, all of them! I know why Cinder wanted to help me with the sun screen – LIKE HELL! No way was I letting somebody _touch me! _And Emmy was even _less subtle – _She wanted to play _beach volleyball! _Yeah right! If she thought she was gonna get me to jump around while wearing _that, _I certainly showed her! I'm not going to embarrass myself prancing around in a bikini! I bet they were just hoping the straps would come loose… perverts…

So yeah, I spent the whole time hiding under a beach towel watching Yin and Summer build a sand castle… The water _did _look nice… but it wasn't worth jeopardizing my modesty; nope! Those perverts are just gonna have to use their perverted imaginations to get their stupid perverted kicks! I for one certainly _am not _going to help! I don't care how much fun they had playing beach volleyball without me, or how nice the water was, or even if Cinder found a penguin-shaped piece of _drift wood! _There was _absolutely no way _that I was going out there! Although refusing sunscreen entirely probably wasn't a good idea…

Stupid sunburn…

Still, the important thing is that, even though I barely had any fun, got nasty sunburn and horrible tan-lines, and spent the whole day hiding under a beach towel, I, Glynda Goodwitch, protected my modesty dammit! And it was worth it! At least I got to watch the concert… and anyway, I was too busy being paranoid to be bored…

Absolutely never wearing such a revealing swimsuit again,

Glynda

P.S. You know… maybe it wouldn't _really _have hurt to actually _try _to have enjoyed myself… I guess it'll have to wait…


	38. Entry 38: Camping

_Entry # 38: Age 15_

* * *

Dear Diary,

Have I ever mentioned that I hate spiders? Well, I hate spiders. They're creepy, and they're crawly, and they are most decidedly _unpleasant _guests to find in one's _SLEEPING BAG!_

So yeah, I went camping. You wanna know _who _I went camping with? Emmy Valkyrie. Well, _alright, _Summer, Yin and I went camping with Emmy Valkyrie and her folks. Cinder was invited too, but apparently the cake shop she works at was hosting a handshake event with AKB0048, so she just couldn't get the weekend off. Now, before you tell me that I should have known better than to allow myself to be dragged off into the woods with Emmy Valkyrie, let me enlighten you that the alternative was to stay in Vale and participate in Siegfried, Andreas, and Alexander's _manliness contest… _No thank you…I _suppose _that I could also have stayed home, but Yuko borrowed Cinder's Came Station and set it up in my room to marathon all her dirty visual novels… I don't even want to think about what _Mom's _gonna say when I get back… Anyway, all things considered, three days stranded in the inhospitable wilderness with a Railgun-wielding nutcase seemed like the most sensible choice… Unless I wanted to be a waitress at a cake shop too… Actually, on second thought… Spiders… or Penguin cake with Chieri Sono… Dammit!

Well, I made my stupid, _stupid choice, _and so here I am, and as I write, I am continually trying to swat spiders and Dust-knows-what else off of myself. Still, it could have been worse; knowing Emmy, I was half-expecting her to drag us out to some Grimm-infested bog. Fortunately, her parents had more sense than that; there were no Grimm involved – thank Dust – but there was plenty of _bog _to go around… The Dust-forsaken hell hole we wound up pitching out tents in was called Stinkmire Gulch – even the name sounds awful – and our two tents – one for Emmy's parents, and one for the four of 'us kids' – were set up on the approximately twelve square feet of dry, _solid ground _to be found for miles around. You know what we used for a campfire? We set a _peat bog on FIRE! _That's got to be against like, _a hundred _fire safety laws!

Made really good s'mores though…

Anyway, the first day we fished… in a bog… Not Yin though… When it came time to put the worms on the hooks, she kinda passed out… As for the rest of us, I caught a frog (by which I mean I _stepped on a frog_), Summer caught a minnow in a butterfly net, and Emmy caught some kind of lizard… She says they're gonna go into the insurance business… Personally, I don't think that particular industry wants anything to do with Emmy Valkyrie… So yeah, we basically caught nothing…Emmy's _parents though… _They brought a _ten-foot STURGEON _back to camp!

Where they got it, I have no idea, but it was delicious…

And of course, what camping trip is complete without scary stories at night? Well, if you ask me, one that isn't positively _horrible. _Not that I was scared… but _Yin _was terrified! I mean, the middle of a three-day camping trip with no scroll service, _miles away from anyone who could hear you scream _isn't exactly the best time to tell stories about vicious, invincible Beowolves or King Taijus that can turn you to stone just by _looking at you! _I mean, _who does that? _It was AWFUL!

At least that's what Yin said…

Totally not scared of ghost stories,

Glynda

P.S. I _did NOT _wet my sleeping bag!


	39. Entry 39: Test of Courage

**Author's Note: Okay all, welcome to another exciting (or possibly completely, uninterestingly dull, but I hope not) entry of Glynda's diary! This time, we're hanging around at school at night! Not having a battle royale though… sorry… Anyway, as always, I do appreciate any feedback, and I love to see favs, follows, or reviews (he says with a passive-aggressive sigh). Also, I would like to take a moment to encourage anyone who may be so inclined to check out my latest story, "Magical Girl Glitter Glynda-Chan!" (shamelessselfpromotion). It's another, more parodic little thing that I'm hoping people enjoy, and much like this, **_**absolutely not **_**to be taken seriously (might be bad for your health if you do…) but anyway, that's enough of that, and I'll be out of your way. **

_Entry # 39: Age 15_

* * *

Dear Diary,

So yeah, I'm gonna kill Cinder.

Perhaps some elaboration is necessary… _First of all, _It's got to be something nice and ironic –something that totally _screams _'poetic justice' – though I'm still on the fence as to whether that means death by freezing, burning at the stake, or strapping cannons onto her feet and sinking her into the sea… Must think on this – _wait… _I can strap her to the stake, use ice Dust to inflict _freezer burns, _and _then _strap cannons to her shoes and sink her into the sea! Yes… that will do nicely… Oh… but I suppose you want to know why… That's actually quite simple…

IT'S BECAUSE SHE'S A BIG FAT STUPID MEANIE JERK-FACE!

Happy place Glynda, happy place… You_ do not _need anger management, no matter _what _Mom thinks… I am _not _totally stressed out… I am simply contemplating the exaction of righteous justice against –

Okay, so maybe I am _a little bit angry… _

As to why Cinder is a big fat stupid meanie jerk-face, that is a bit more complicated… You see, it all started yesterday when Cinder called us all to the club room to 'celebrate' the impending launch of our third – or in the case of Siegfried and the Arc Brothers, fourth – year at Signal. How did she want to celebrate, you ask? 'With that time-honored mainstay of summer vacation,' the test of courage… Her scheme then, was to lock the lot of us in the east wing – that was the first red flag, as we don't exactly have a good relationship with that part of the school – with no lights on while we spend the whole night searching for ghosts 'and other night-crawling monstrosities' as she put it, completely overlooking the fact that one of our members in in fact a genuine ghost… and she's _scared of the dark! _Can you believe that? The _ghost _who haunts the school is _afraid of the dark! _Positively ridiculous! Do you want to know _how _I know she's afraid do the dark? She hid behind me the _entire time! _It was very distracting…

Anyway, Cinder split us up into four groups: Andreas, Alexander, and Siegfried (surprise, surprise), Summer Qrow (who only agreed to come because Yin would only go if _both _of the Roses would promise to protect her) and Yin, Me, Emmy, and Yuko, and finally, Cinder herself and Roman. At first it was all hunky-dory each group went of in a different direction, confident (well, except for Yin and Yuko) that nothing was going to happen, and 'Team Manliness' (guess who) even set off singing ridiculous songs about 'manliness, courage, and victory!' and till midnight, it stayed that way… got kinda boring actually…

Then things got weird…

Emmy had been blabbing on and on about how she wanted to catch a will-o-wisp in a jar – she did actually bring one for that sole purpose, believe it or not – "I'm gonna trap one like a firefly! Y'know? Cause it's fire, and it _flies!_' - but I thought it was just like usual and she was talking nonsense, but at the precise stroke of midnight (incidentally, I didn't know that Signal had a bell tower that tolled ominously at midnight_ and no other hours_) we saw it, or rather, _them… _dozens of will-o-wisps! One minute, nada, the next, _we're surrounded!_

And seeing as Yuko, and from what Summer tells me, _Yin _were both about ready to scream and faint (which would have been bad, need I really explain? For one thing, for a _ghost, _Yuko is surprisingly heavy…) this certainly qualified as a _bad time _for Cinder to call us all up on her scroll and tell us that she just remembered a ghost story about how the east wing was built on top of an ancient burial ground where blood-sacrifices used to be made to appease the Grimm before man discovered Dust, and that the souls of those brutally killed here manifested each night in the form of hundreds of will-o-wisps… Needless to say, _Yin _completely freaked out, and Yuko decided to be invisible so as to 'hide from the vengeful spirits…' I for one was _totally fine!_ I didn't believe a word of Cinder's stupid ghost story. N-no matter w-what Emmy says… I DID NOT SCREAM AND CRY FOR MOMMY!

I like Daddy better anyway…

Things definitely went downhill from there though… I told Emmy that catching one of the Will-o-wisps probably wasn't a good idea given their alleged history (not that I bought Cinder's story for a minute) but Emmy being Emmy, I was completely ignored, and she had one in her precious little heart-pattered mason jar in a few seconds flat. After that, we started hearing high winds, creaky doors, and shutters slamming open and shut all over –and even _snarling Beowolves storming through the halls! _Needless to say, I wanted out of there – not that I was scared – and by the time the we started hearing the evil laughter, I – I mean _Yin, _was totally done with this whole stupid thing, but the Beowolves kept getting closer! None of us had brought weapons – nothing was _supposed _to have actually gone down – and with Yuko kidding and Emmy pre-occupied trying to open communication with an _evil spirit _trapped in a m_ason jar _about swapping pancake recipes, I was totally hosed…

At least until Cinder started laughing at me.

Turns out, the whole thing was a _set up! _The will-o-wisps? Fire Dust under Cinder's control. The noises? She had Roman broadcasting his scroll's "Instant Horror Movie" app over the PA system! All of it was fake - well, except for the Beowolves Apparently Alexander snuck his chariot inside… although whether he was in on it or just being an idiot I'm not sure.

So in summation, Cinder Fall must die. For humiliating m- I mean Yin…

Currently plotting revenge,

Glynda

P.S. I wonder if some kind of burrito-based revenge might not be more effective...


	40. Entry 40: Costume Party!

**Author's Note: Hello again, and welcome back to Glynda's Diary! Back with more Cosplay! Hope you enjoy, and feel free tor review/comment! **

_Entry # 40: Age 15_

* * *

Dear Diary,

I am a model student, not a nerd.

I say this because, during the Neighbor's Brigade meeting today, It was requested of me that I again wear that _ridiculous _Magical Girl costume that Cinder bought at the Schnee Costume Emporium along with those three _fetish costumes – _She _insists _that they aren't, but I know better. When I flatly _refused, _Cinder wasn't _upset, _per se, but _surprised! _Apparently she was expecting me to _agree! Ridiculous! _There is _no way _that I was going to dress like _that _with people around to _see! _I'm not _five! _I don't care how frilly the skirt is or how many ribbons I get to – I mean _have to _– wear! When I told her this, she just tilted her head and said that she thought I'd be all right with it because I like to watch Magical Momo Friday at seven – _Which is PREPOSTEROUS!_

Magical Momo airs at seven-thirty anyway…

But as I was saying, I was _totally _gonna shoot her stupid, _stupid _idea down flat, but then Cinder cheated… Right then, Yin, Summer, Emmy, Yuko, and even _Chieri Sono _walked in, dressed in Yellow, white, green, black, and blue versions of the same Magical Girl outfit respectively… and Cinder had a red one lined up for herself… Club bonding – they said – so to celebrate inducting _Chieri _(when she took leave of her wits I don't know) as an honorary member, We were going to have a costume-coordinated photo-op… And Cinder wanted me to stand next to _Chieri! _So naturally I accepted… For Chieri, of course…

I _so did NOT _squee at the chance to be in a picture with my favorite pop-star!

I mean _really, _it was the _only _reasonable thing to do - and it's _not _like I just gave in to peer pressure or anything totally _immature _as that… But everyone _else _had already gotten into the costumes, and it would be a shame to have them go to all that trouble for nothing… Didn't hurt that Chieri gave me a hug…

Okay… I _might _have squeed _then…_ But Yin squeed louder!

Looking back on it, it was actually a nice moment; just us girls having fun and dressing up (and _no, we're NOT _way too old for that!) No judgment or anything, just a good time with lots of laughs and good friends… Until Siegfried showed up wearing a tuxedo and a ridiculous opera mask… Totally ruined the moment… It was kinda funny though…

After that, when everybody settled down again, we had Roman take the pictures – one of all of us, one of Chieri and Siegfried, Yin and Summer, Cinder, Summer, Yin, Emmy, and I – and then you know what happened? Alexander burst into the door in his 'King of Conquerors' gettup (again, basically how he normally dresses anyway) Followed by Andreas – with _no shirt, _sunglasses, and that absurd cape – carrying a _case _of Schi-nee Cola and a giant cake shaped like Kyubey (you know, so we can carve him up again – he totally _deserves it, _the smug _plushie-fodder!_). Apparently – and unbeknownst to me – this occasion was also meant to be the first anniversary party for the neighbor's brigade, and you know what? That's just fine; it was actually fun! I'm even okay with wearing the Magical Girl outfit the whole time – as long as pictures don't show up on the net later… I'm gonna _kill _Roman if they do… Although… he _did _give me that voucher for the latest Wizards of Romance book for my birthday, so I suppose his sentence could be commuted…

Totally not posing in front of a mirror dressed as Magical Momo,

Glynda

P.S. I can't wait to actually _read _Volume 8! It comes out this week~


	41. Entry 41: Meta-Mecha

**Author's Note: Hello again and welcome back to Glynda's Diary! Now with more meta-humor! Albeit very obscure meta-humor… It's there, I promise! Also, yay for another show's worth of references! As if the laughs couldn't get cheaper folks… However, I have been wondering how the series proper could possibly step up their game for Volume 2, and based on the trailer, they appear to be doing so through the addition of giant robots (the best way to step up one's game, after all) so I got to thinking "who am I to argue with that?" so in honor of that, let there be Mecha! Anyway, I hope you enjoy, and feel free to let me know what you think!**

_Entry 41: Age 15_

Dear Diary,

Have I ever really mentioned that cars aren't really my thing?

You see, Siegfried took the whole neighbor's Brigade out to the Vale road rally this weekend, and not that I'm complaining – it was really nice of him and all – but I didn't think _any of us _were really into cars . Him included. For a while there, It was actually kind of boring, just watching a whole bunch of cars I don't know anything about drive around in a circle and weaving between street cones, but I have to admit it was pretty fun to watch Alexander crash the rally with _his chariot _and outrun all the cars… You should've seen the look on that one Takumi guy's face… Priceless…

As it turns out though, Siegfried really _doesn't _care much about cars – the _feature _of this year's Vale auto show wasn't the _cars _at all. For one thing, Chieri and the rest of AKB0048 performed on the main stage of the open-air convention center, which was awesome! Not that I spent most of my time there waving glow sticks or anything… Either way, that's not what I'm talking about either… Even if Chieri invited me on stage and signed my T-shirt…

No, the _feature _display of the auto-show was the new line of Schnee-Mecha Works new line of Endlave-Class combat Mecha – apparently the planned Lagen-Class models were running into some production hang-ups with implementing 'Spiral Energy' or whatever the hell it was that Siegfried called it. Just sounds like nonsense to me... Anyway, the biggest showpiece of this particular event was the SchneeMW Steiner Endlave, fully loaded with Dust cannons, a full complement of heat-seeking missiles, and the latest experimental Aura projection and amplification technology. Now, I _don't _care about cars, but _that _was really something…. They even brought in a captured _Deathstalker _for the demonstration.

Splat. That is all.

That's not even the best part though! You know who was _piloting it? _Turns out that SchneeMW wanted the best when they recruited their test pilots, so they went overseas – I _think _to the same country Chieri's from actually – and contacted one of the best Hunting outfits over there – Funeral Parlor, they call themselves – and hired Remnant's number one wheelchair-badass _Ayase Shinomiya! _She always _dominates _the Mecha-division in combat tournaments and she's like a personal hero of mine! Not that I'm in the habit of watching anything as _barbaric _as two combat Mecha brutally beating the nuts and bolts out of each other… just when it's on… Dad records it… But anyway, she's like _totally freaking awesome! _It was like when I got to see Chieri in concert all over again! Except more stuff blew up…

_So… _presented as I was with the opportunity to get her autograph – Chieri and Siegfried _might _have pulled some strings so we could meet her, and I _might have _asked if it was okay – well it would have been disrespectful _not to… _So yeah, I now have the signatures of Chieri Sono, Ayase Shinomiya, _and Yuko-_ wait… WHEN DID YUKO'S SIGNATURE GET HERE!?" UGH!

Oh well… Although now that I think of it, they all do kind of sound alike… Weird…

Anyway, after the autographs were done and the day was drawing to the close, do you know what happened _next? _AKB launched a _flying concert _on those lev-stages and Shinomiya-San shot _fireworks _from the Steiner! It was awesome… So I guess the lesson to be learned here is that you should always be open to trying new things, even if you don't think that you'll enjoy them.

Unless Emmy Valkyrie suggests them to you, then you run like hell.

Amassing signatures on the stomach of a stuffed penguin,

Glynda

P.S. The Mecha-combat tournaments just _happen _to be on after Magical Momo… which just _happens _to be on after CSI Vale…


End file.
